cassandra

Mine is really short . . .

Time again for melancholy. Fa la la la la la la la!

'Tis the season to be jolly? Fa la la la la la la la!

Drink some wine, by the barrel, Fa la la la la la la la!

Can't stand to hear another Christmas carol, Fa la la la la la la la!

Fa la la la la la la la fuck you!

I know the holidays can be tough, all that holiday cheer and couples nonsense.  I thought I had plans but somehow . . . they fell through. 

Would anyone be interested in doing a widda get together on Sunday . . . we can do lunch/dinner and a movie?  Movie theaters are always open on Christmas and lots of restaurants are too.

Cassanra

I was in the supermarket last weekend..one I usually don't go to...I round the corner and hear my name. It's one of my old bosses (left the job 15 years ago.) In my line of work I get pretty close the boss and her family- and she to mine. So she knew my husband.  Of course the second question out of her mind is.

 

Piecesofapart,

I am sorry you had to deal with your former boss's insensitivity.  I still sometimes get this, even at almost nine years out.  Having to say my husband is dead or that I am a widow is what I call dropping the death bomb.  Sometimes it's hard to deliver, but we can't avoid it.  Other times I have done it just for effect and the nearly universal head tilt and reply of "how arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you?"

Cassandra

When I see elderly couples, it's very bittersweet. 

I know I will never have more than the 19 years my husband and I had.  And we would have been freaking adorable as old people shuffling down the street holding hands or feeding the pigeons in the park!

I can't get sad or angry though, because I wonder as I look at the older couples, if one or both of them lost their first spouse and this is their chapter two.  It gives me hope that I can find that new love again too.

Reintroducing myself.

I joined YWBB in March 2008 when my husband passed unexpectedly.  I read the site constantly, refreshing pages over and over to see the latest replies from everyone.  The Newly Widowed forum was a godsend for me as I tired to make sense of my new life. 

It felt like such a sense of accomplishment (in a strange way) to "graduate" to Shock Wears Off then to Beyond the First Year . . . even dipping my toes into Beyond Active Grieving to see where I hoped to be at some point.  I even posted occasionally.  You guys were amazing at being able to understand, commiserate and even laugh at the absurdity of life as a (no longer so) young widow. 

I tried going to some local 'bagos, but there were not that many in my area and then I started feeling like I was too far along to attend the ones that did happen.

I am now just about nine years out.  I remember someone posting on BAG (Teal, I think) who was almost that far out when I started.  I could not imagine being able to get there, but here I am.  I am still trying to figure out this new life.  Sometimes my progress is slower than people want (don't even get me started on my parents' plot to set me up on a blind date); but it's my life, not theirs.

Thank you to everyone who restored the website.  When I realized YWBB was gone, I really felt the loss and am so appreciative to those of you who worked so hard to bring it back.  Is there a way to bring back the content of the old site?  I tried the Wayback Machine but very few pages were archived.

Cassandra

Correct me if I am wrong, but are a lot of people on this site former members of ywbb.org?  I recognize some of the user names.

I had used that site a lot when my husband first passed but weaned away.  Last year I needed a fix and it was gone.  I was sad because it was such a great place to interact with people who got it.

Even if this is not a reincarnation of ywbb, I still really glad to have found you guys and a place where I can feel at home.

Cassandra