Michele

The love of my life wasn't the best guy in the world. He was spoiled and jealous at times, thoughtful and sweet sometimes. We often struggled financially. It was a rocky relationship, but we stuck it out, raised our 4 children together, and welcomed 9 grandchildren in to our big loving family. Now he is gone, and my whole world is ripped wide open. I have many mixed emotions coming and going. I can't believe he left me here like this. I stayed by his bedside for 66 days, 5 hospitals, sleeping in a chair 64 of those nights. I would never leave him alone. Now, for the first time in my adult life, I am afraid. I never felt fear when he was here. He was the only person who never abandoned me, until now. His last day plays over and over in my mind. This is the most intense pain I have ever felt.

Hello, is anyone out there? I just want to find a place where someone will listen. I signed up for this forum, and. don't know known how to navigate. Finally stumbled on this button down atvthe bottom of this page. I just don't think straight, and teary eyes don't help. I lost my husband of 44 years in may. I miss him so much sometimes I feel sick. I feel so alone in my grief, like no one around me can possibly know the pain I feel. I go through the motions. I do what I'm supposed to, I laugh with my grandchildren, I clean the house. It's all so empty. It's like living in the twilight zone.