Mariann Underwood

On 4/5/2019 at 8:55 AM, Melissa brown said:

My husband didnt have a will. We didnt think we needed one being so young. But now there is a ton of things I need to do to get his part of the house in my name and a ton of other things. These things are so hard, I have to keep repeating to people that he died. Any advice from you all on how to get through these tough times. I am actually on my way to pick up his death certificates and its soo hard and I'm scared I am going to just bawl when I see them. 

 

 

 

 

Hi Melissa I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel about the paperwork and making phone calls and telling over and over my husband died. He also had no will. I hated opening up the mail!! The day I picked up his death certificates it was our 42nd Wedding Anniversary. I just lost it at the funeral home. Go ahead and cry you need to. The funeral man hugged me and asked me questions about my wedding day. He was very kind. Many Hugs to you and prayers

On 4/28/2019 at 9:17 AM, beensad said:

As of 9amit has been an entire week since my Husband has passed. the circumstances were incredibly distressing to say the least. I have a small social circle but a very supportive one. I still cannot believe it happened and to someone so young. They say "the good die young", I find this to be the truth. I have been best friends with him since I was 17 years old. We did everything together, we called each other multiple times a day, and we shared everything in our lives together. Sometimes people would say our relationship was nauseating, not because we would act overly affectionate in public but one of my friends said everyone was jealous of what we had. I really am having a hard time fathoming how to live my life without him. We only spent 2 nights away from each other our whole marriage of 18 plus years. I don't know what to do with myself. I keep expecting him to walk through the door and pick me up but I realize that is unrealistic, I keep grabbing my phone to tell him some news I learned, I keep looking at my phone to see if he called and then I am flooded with dread and hopelessness. Do any of you have any advice on how to get through the first month I would greatly appreciate it? Much love to you all.    

Hello Beensad, I'm terribly sorry for your loss.I just lost my husband of 42 years. I'm 64 years old & I've known my husband since I was 15!! We were extremely close like you were. I also expected my husband to call me & I thought I could call him. I had horrible panic attacks and it seems to get worse for me instead of better. I joined a bereavement group which helped but not enough. I now go to counseling  and it's solo helpful for me. There is no time limit on grieving and take very small steps at a time. Listen to your heart. I still cry a few times everyday.

I wish you the best and somehow it gets a little softer.  Many Hugs!!

On 5/23/2019 at 9:44 PM, Cassie said:

On March 6, I lost my husband very unexpectedly. He was only 31. He had fought type 1 diabetes since he was only 2 years old. 3 years ago, he was diagnosed with kidney failure. 2 years ago, he started dialysis for end stage renal failure. There were countless hospital stays.

 

The scariest hospital stay was in January. He was diabetic ketoacidosis. His blood sugar was over 900. He had to be placed on a ventilator because he was vomiting but not protecting his airway. After 2 days, he self extobated. He pulled through like a champ. Kept saying he was invincible (he was cocky lol). 

 

On March 6th, however, he never woke up. They say he had a massive heart attack in his sleep. He left 3 children behind. And me, his 34 year old wife. 

 

His death followed my miscarriage on 11-10-18 and my uncle's unexpected death on 1-3-19.  

 

How do I get through this? He was my best friend as well as my husband. I feel so alone all the time. Are there any tricks to finding peace?

Hi Cassie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your question of are there any tricks to finding peace made me reach out to you. I lost my husband 4 months ago we were married 42 years. I started having panic attacks days after his death. They stopped me in my tracks. I was never so frightened like this. I got on medication to help me.  I don't have small children like you which is something I can't imagine. I prayed really hard when attacks came on. It was all I knew to do. I now go to counseling which helps me a lot. Do what you feel is best for you, take small steps. There is no time limit on grieving. Take care Hugs!!

On 7/22/2019 at 5:49 PM, Peg said:

Hello Everyone!

 

I am new and lost my Husband of 31 years on 2/6/19 at 57 to Pancreatic Cancer. He passed after 6 weeks of being diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. 

 

I feel My grief is worse now then when he first passed almost 6 months ago. I guess I wanted to join for some help going through this. I thought I could do it alone and be ok but now not so sure of that. 

Hi Peg, I'm also new to this forum I joined today. I'm very sorry for your loss of your beloved husband. I lost much beloved husband of 42 years on June 23,2019. I also started feeling worse a couple months ago than I did in the beginning. My counselor told me it's cause the shock has worn off and reality has sunk in. This is normal evan though our lives are changed forever. I recommend bereavement groups. Your not alone I know it's incredibly hard. Your in my prayers!

On 8/25/2019 at 9:41 PM, Julester3 said:

Hugs Alma! One minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. We are here for you when you are ready. 

Hello Alma, I'm so so sorry for your loss. My husband died almost 5 months ago. I can relate to crying, screaming, and constant crying. This is normal along with no energy. Please j o in a bereavement group and anything else for relief. I know about a special deep love. I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone!!

On 6/2/2019 at 9:19 PM, simon8164 said:

i lost my wife on 3rd may 2019 she had diabetes from 12years old ,she was 49 when she died .maria had a kidney transplant 16 years ago ,we have 1 son who is 23 years old ,he has cerebral palsy and cannot walk he is amazing and comforts me every day.maria spent 3 periods in hospital over the last 18 month the longest april17th 2018 for 108 days most of which was in icu ,she had a heart attack and multiple organ failure was intubated for 9days ,she is such a fighter and amazed me everyday with her will to survive and smiled everyday even when she could barely breath ,i am in awe of her and have been all my life ,she is the most beautiful amazing gorgeous woman i have ever known .maria left hospital in august last year and the doctors said she now had heart failure and was on dialysis aswell ,as her transplanted kidney was failing ,but after her short time of being upset she did what she always did and said she will fight and isn't ready to go yet ,she had the most amazing positive attitude .after 3 months of dialysis 3times a week her kidney picked up and its function went up to 18 percent which meant dialysis could stop ,this was amazing news for us and maria .recently she started to put-on weight which meant she was retaining fluid again ,we went to the hospital and her kidney function was decreasing again .maria reduced her fluid intake and increased her water tablets to try to get the fluid off but the following week maria had an appointment on friday the third of may with the predialysis team for bloods .we both knew they would keep her in and packed a bag ready .walking up the path to the car maria said she felt dizzy helped her walk to the car but as we got there she couldn't stand .i had already decided to go straight to a and e but she said she wanted to go to her appointment [she was very stubborn ] i rang 999 as she was not responding to me as we turned off our street i flagged a policeman down and he got an ambulance this was around 9.15 am the took her to hospital and tried to save her but were unable as her heart was so weak .this beautiful lady is the love of my life and i don't know how to breath without her ,i woke up next to my beautiful wife every day for 28 years and 3rd may 2019 10 am she died and now i will never see her again ,i am so lost i don't know what to do ,for 28 years i had her to help me make every decision and now i have to make them on my own ,i don't know how to do it i miss her so much my heart is totally broken ,sometimes i feel like someone is stood on my chest the pain is so overwhelming .i know i have to carry on to look after our beautiful son ,i think he is the one taking care of me at the moment as he is so strong and has an unbelievable positive attitude which he gets from his mum of course .i on the other hand am a worrier to the point that maria asked everyone we saw to have a quiet word with me to try and get me to not worry so much ,but how do you not worry when the person you love so much is really poorly and has been through so much in her life .i miss her and love her so much i feel so lost .

I am so sorry about your wife. She was amazing from what you write. Your story has similarities to mine. I lost my beloved husband David on June 23,2019. Dave had a kidney transplant in 1981. Lasted 38 years. Over time he developed many health problems but he always fought to get better. I never knew anyone could have so ma y things wrong with them!! We also have 1 daughter who has special needs she is 34 years old and still lives at home. She is so strong and if I didn't have her I may have done something tragic. My husband took wonder care of my daughter and I. His last couple of years were spent in and out of hospitals, doctor app and tests. We were married 42 years. This is solo unbearable!! I'm glad I signed into this forum. My prayers for and your son.