tmwenger

Wow. Every time I read a new post my heart breaks. I'm on here because this time of year always reminds me of when I was in the throws of grieving.  It's hard. I would focus on taking care of you and baby. Trying to find a why may be hard. Know that no matter the why here you can find others who have asked the same question. We get it,  at least in part. Love to you. It sucks, but keep going, it can get better.

I lost my husband 3 weeks before our first wedding anniversary. When I would see loved ones celebrating such milestones as weddings and children it hurt solo much. I couldn't imagine it ever not hurting. And although I still get a little sad I can say my excitement for them now does trump that small pang. But if you told me it would get better I couldn't have imagined it. Just let yourself feel sad, it's ok. There were a couple of baby showers I def opted out of and just sent a card. Those who knew me and loved me understood.

One of my favorite quotes about time is by angie cartwright. I am sure you have seen it, but just in case I will post it and give you my thoughts.

" My grieving friend. Sometimes all of the suggestions don't work. Sometimes all we can do is breath. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one second at a time. But... There is hope. It will come. When, you might ask? It comes one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time"

For the longest time all I had were those brief moments where I was not feeling like I didn't want to live. Moments where the pain was bearable. And it did get worse before it got better. And then I slowly started crying less. I started have more moments where I was ok than when I was afraid I could not go on. And then I reached a point where it had been a week since I had last cried. I was shocked. Now, although I miss my DH every day, it does not consume me. In fact I am truly happy again. I never thought I would feel truly happy again. Nor did I want to at times.

I think when people tell you it takes time, at least people who have been in a similar situation, they are just trying to let you know that they get how hard it is every single moment, but that with time the moments between the despair do become longer and longer. So just hold on. 

Just checking if we are still meeting up at all. I have the day free so just let me know!

As time went by it did seem to be harder. I wanted to give up every day, and it....was....exhausting. I am sorry for your loss, and understand how hard it is to see how it could get better it often times feels much worse. It is a long road, but you will be able to travel it and see that the road does get easier, even if it gets harder first. Love to you, and glad you found this place of support.

Oh. I want in! I haven't climbed my manadnock since I was a kid.

I would be up for it!

I could do February 28th.

Hi, I have read that there Is usually a back in Florida over MLK Jr weekend. Is that going to happen in 2016 and if so where is it?

I can't go, its my husbands gravestone unveiling. :-[ Oh well.

I could do Oct 25th or Oct 17th

I would be up for it but I can't the weekend of the 12th and 13th (of september) its the beginning of Rosh Hashanah on Sunday so I will be heading to NY to visit the inlaws.

Hi. I would love to meet up again, so when ever there is a good time for you just let me know. Just not on Rosh Hashanah ( it starts on a sunday this year I think). 

I am young and we did not get to have the family we dreamed of.... But I go back and forth. Sometimes I really can't imagine not getting remarried and other times I think maybe adoption would be the better option. I have always wanted to adopt and my husband and I talked about adopting after we had kids of our own, so it is not a new thought. But if I go that route I do not have to think about ever finding someone new...But again do I never want to be in love again? See back and forth. Good thing I do not have to decide right now.

wow I just agree so much with what so many of you are saying. I am just past the 6 month date and I feel like I just took giant leaps back.  When he first passed I was worried about how much life would suck without him and it really does, no matter how hard I try to keep busy and do things I still am not happy and unfortunately I cannot just will myself to be happy.

I too feel this way. I told my sister it is as bad as I thought it would be. Life without my husband sucks and nothing makes it better. I keep myself very busy but I am just pretending and going through the motions, I am not looking forward to the summer.

I would love to come to a bago in NH/VT My summer is pretty open because I am a teacher. And I agree we should start a new thread.

I think it would be fun to come, but I would be coming from a far (~4-5 hours away) and if there is someplace to camp that would be great!

This sounds like fun. I would love to go and July would work well for me. I am a teacher so I have summers off! 

So I had a really tough day. By normal means it was stressful and all I wanted to do was go home and have the support of my husband. On days like today it was nice to go home and all I would say is he loved me and we would hang out and somehow the stresses of the day would melt away. But instead I am reminded more on days like today that I am now in this alone. Sooo.... lots of crying today.

Man I think about this a lot. I am not a sexual goddess but my husband and I just worked. He always said i was like a video game that he just got. He knew he could get me going so easily and we enjoyed sex....a lot.  I  hope I find someone who can make me feel this way again. Someone who can just make me hot and feel good, really, really good.

So I live in an area where there are about 20 different local little coffee shops to choose from so when a guy asked if I wanted to meet him for coffee I said sure. I thought it would be a good low key date. So he chooses Dunkin donuts. Well I decided to be nice and go, I figured maybe that was where he felt comfortable, and he was meeting me for the first time. Well after the date he texted and asked if I wanted to go out again, I was thinking about it even though I wasn't that into him. I figured I would give him another try......until he suggested we go to dunkin donuts for our second date. Seriously? on what planet is DD a great place for a first date, or second, or any, or all. Really. I was really stretching and being nice but no I cannot go to some chain fast food/coffee joint for two dates in a row. No thanks. I also had one guy who brought his dad with him, without telling me for our first date. Yep awkward, especially since I liked his dad better than him!

Although I a not there yet I hope that someday I may be able to say this. I have wanted a family for so long and my husband and I just starting trying when he passed. So kind of halted my dreams. I am thinking I may adopt someday.

I might be able to come. I am from western ma, but my MIL/ the rest of his fam live on LI so it would be nice to come down for a short visit. So if you don't mind having someone from western ma I think I will come!

I am checking in, I made it here. I do not write a lot but I read, extensively.