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On line dating vents and laughs......


momtokam
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I am going to try that phone thingy as you suggest Virgo.  I've never been great on the phone.  Got that from mom.  She had an actual phone phobia.  One day many years ago the family was sitting in the LR when the phone rang.  Mom was closest so one of us said.  "Mom, why don't you answer the phone?"  

Her reply:  "What do I do if someone is there?"  She could be as batty as a bowl of Wuhan soup.

 

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  • 2 months later...

There has not been much to report on Virgo but things did just open up for me. I switch to a different zip code for the summer and since I have there has been non-stop activity on my profile. Maybe that's the area opening back up or maybe it's just the "fresh face" thing.

 

One story to share. I exchanged a couple messages with a lady. On her third message to me she felt the need to tell me that she was not looking to be anyone's wife or caretaker. Dealbreaker. Not that I'm looking for a wife or a caretaker but I expect to be in love again. So much in love that I could not imagine "outsourcing" my sweetheart's care. It is sad but so many divorced people have never known love like that.

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Love2fish, I agree that so many people haven't experienced true love. I've met so many men jaded by past experiences. 

 

I could be way off, but the woman you spoke with was probably implying that you were looking for a "replacement" wife. I've talked to a few guys who had that mentality towards me too. Like I was looking for an instant husband, father figure, provider, or warm body. 

 

I've even had a few guys tell me they were uncomfortable dating a widow. Dating divorcees is more the norm. I was glad they were up front about it right away. 

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21 minutes ago, Virgo said:

I could be way off, but the woman you spoke with was probably implying that you were looking for a "replacement" wife.

I think you are spot on although there was no reason for her to think that. Our conversation hadn't gone there in any way. I think she, and many other women are intimidated that I say right up front I am looking for one last love. ½ the women online will only say that they are looking for friendship in their profiles. One such woman flirted with me a couple months ago. She asked if I had found love online and I honestly said yes, meaning the woman I just lost. I said that one lady and I made it to the finish line. She freaked out. Told me she was not desperate! She would not be another notch on my headboard! A little misunderstanding re. the meaning of "finish line" to a widow v divorcee 

 

Thank you for your insights Virgo. It's helpful to know these experiences are shared by widows as well as widowers. You would have loved to meet the sweet old widow I will call Ann. I told the story somewhere on WIDDA (maybe this thread lol :) about meeting her. Her kind advice to me was priceless and fits with this discussion. 

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