tybec Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 I was given a gift of the picture presentation put together for my late husband's funeral. It is a digital photo frame. I never got it out of the box. I could not bear to look at it as it was from his funeral. I barely put the pictures together, others did, as he died on a Friday and Sunday was the visitation. Quick. So, I got it out. After a broken relationship post my LH's death, I decided I wanted it out for my son, and maybe me, too. It has been 8 1/2 years. I took most pictures of LH down when I started to date. I decided that was not fair to my son, who was 8 at the time of LH's death, 12 when I started dating. I cried initially upon putting it out. It is a collage of pics from his baby years to our dating in HS, his military years, church youth years, wedding to many of him with our son. I think I could not put it out and that was unfair to my son to be stripped of precious photos of his father. And now it is out and my son just turned 17! I feel good about it. I decided if recoupling is to occur and I can handle all their baggage/history, they can handle a photo frame with my LH and our history. And if divorced, still managing their stuff present and future. It is a trade off I feel is worthy. For me but mostly for my son. Going on 9 years and still dealing with it all. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurie27 Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 Good for you for putting the photo collage out, I'm sure your son appreciates it. And you are right if you date someone they have to accept you as you are, with your history. I found a photo of my husband when he was 18 and in the Navy, it was in a box of things from his parents that he never wanted to go through, it gives me a measure of peace whenever I see it, so I put it in my sewing room. Take care of yourself tybec. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted September 15, 2020 Share Posted September 15, 2020 tybec What a gift to have this for you and your son. Old pictures now new - love this. Hope you are doing well, it's good to hear from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 I've never really changed the pictures that were out. they are my story line. I like the idea that you now feel that if you can handle another person's history they should be able to handle yours. I am very much a picture person. Notice my tag line is a picture. To me they say so much. I took alot even before digital was available and I still take a lot now. I don't easily erase them either. They are a record of my life and I am not going to make parts of my life disappear, I dated a guy on and off for 3 years after my husband died ,before I met the guy I'm with now. I haven't erased those picture from that time period. I think especially with your son being the age he is it is important to have the visual reminders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faye Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 On 9/15/2020 at 10:56 AM, tybec said: I decided if recoupling is to occur and I can handle all their baggage/history, they can handle a photo frame with my LH and our history. And if divorced, still managing their stuff present and future. It is a trade off I feel is worthy. I'd like to suggest a change of linguistics. "Baggage" is stewing over a divorce that occurred 25 years ago. Having a marriage and being divorced or widowed should be referred to as "having a life." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted November 21, 2020 Author Share Posted November 21, 2020 Good point. Baggage implies a negative connotation. There is a meme out there about finding someone who is willing to carry your luggage, and you carry theirs, too. Maybe more appropriate? 😊 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I left photos of LH out for my girls but I did move them to just the living room and the upstairs hallway. I removed photos of him from the family room and my bedroom since I'm in a committed relationship. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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