The mourning dove

[Guest Questions]

Living alone affords time for reflection. Too much time.

Time to remember what I've lost, compare it to what remains & marvel at the inconsistencies.

Time to let my mind wander unsupervised into a desolate playground. It can be dangerous, this place, because who knows what one will discover there?

 

Sometimes when I'm reflecting, (I may be sad because my love is no longer here to share the moments that make up a day. Or, I may be busying myself with some project or another to distract my myself from the deafening silence).

When all of a sudden I will hear it constant & low in the background.

The sound of the mourning dove.

 

I think it's aptly named because it's song is simple, yet persistent, long & relentless, just like the yearning I feel for my long lost love.

It may not always be at the center of my attention but is there nonetheless & if one quiets their thoughts you can hear it's message.

The mourning dove, although heard, remains hidden within the confines of the foliage of a tall, distant tree. Not unlike my love who's memory is ever present although he remains perpectually out of reach, intangible & untouchable. If I really listen I can still hear the soft sound of his voice. The memory is not so faded & if I concentrate & listen intently I can hear him.

 

Shortly after moving to this house I discovered two mourning doves nesting in the eave of my porch. They eventually started a family together which became evident by the cracked, empty eggshell I found sweeping up one day.

I was envious knowing they had each other & I thought: As it should be of course- a family to nurture & see each other through all of life's notable milestones. How often do I see a single bird alone? They always seem to come in pairs don't they? -as it should be.

& I felt like I didn't fit in, an outcast ill-suited to my environment.

Everyday the quietude & emptiness would fall over me like a wet blanket snuffing out my desires & suffocating my potential. It was completely unnatural.

 

Still, somehow I learned (by force of habit I guess) to be alone & was even at times able to busy myself enough to distract myself from this fact.

The saying goes: "No man is an island unto himself" yet this is exactly what I had become. No longer "we". No longer part of anything at all really. All that had once been familiar, comforting &

"normal" had ended & the world became a big & scary place.

If I travelled someone for a day or week or month (the duration didn't matter)  there would be noone anxiously awaiting my phonecall or inevitable return.

Were I to die today, tomorrow or next month, noone would notice or miss me.

I had become invisable.

 

& just as I was contemplating this sad reality, I heard the call of the morning dove somewhere off in the distance. & I noticed it's persistant solo 4-sylable song remained unanswered.

Most birds call or sing out & receive an answer from another like-minded bird, but not the mourning dove. It's cry echoes on the wind seemingly forever.

 

It kept repeating it's mantra as if to say to me: You don't have to cry alone today. I will relieve you of this burdon for awhile. I hope you don't tire of the mundaness of my song but I trust you won't.

As long as the yearning remains so the song is destined to continue, pure & unwavering in it's intent. Forever in each of us there's a void that remains unfilled & so I have to sing & tell the world about it, you see?

DO you grow weary having noone with which to share the moments of your days?

& does it not hurt having noone with which to express your thoughts & desires?

I am the yearning voice inside unafraid to speak such truths.

My song is simple & direct yet directed to noone in particular.

It's says: I exist. I'm here, I am as lonely & as empty as the day is long but I am still a part of this world. My song speaks deeply to those who need to hear it, & by way of hearing, I become a part of you -as it should be.

Noone deserves to be alone...

[Justin]

Noone deserves to be alone...

 

You are quite right, no one does....

 

That was some of the most poetic prose I can ever recall having read. Beautiful, and brought a tear to my eye.

 

((((Questions))))

[Guest look2thesky]

Beautifully written.

Sometimes just the written word, can help.

[BrokenHeart2]

Beautifully written!  Thank you Questions. You stated my feeling so well.

[ATJ]

I exist. I'm here, I am as lonely & as empty as the day is long but I am still a part of this world. My song speaks deeply to those who need to hear it, & by way of hearing, I become a part of you -as it should be.

Noone deserves to be alone...

 

 

((Questions))

 

Thank you for this heartfelt, reflective post. The song of the Mourning Dove is indeed hauntingly beautiful. Its sorrowful timber resonates with the deep yearning of the soul, a painful longing that words can't express. With deep hues it paints a mural of loneliness and desolation of the heart, a yearning for the one who represents "home". 

 

We all sing our own, unique song of mourning, but in joining the soulful chorus with others, we feel less alone. Thank you for opening your heart to us.

 

 

 

 

But Oh for the touch of a vanished hand

And the sound of a voice that is still!

 

~~ Lord Alfred Tennyson

 

 

Peace and comfort to all other chorus members!

 

ATJ

 

 

[Guest Questions]

Thanks all,

I was having a pretty emotional day & I knew there'd be one place I could crow about it without fear of judgement or ridicule. I'm sad that we all have a need for this website, but am ever grateful it exists. You all get it.. & yes, having another to walk this path with makes the journey easier..

 

(((hugs to all)))