4maljaa

His name was Adrian. He was the love of my life and perfect for me. Lost without him.

Dear JBurton, I can really relate to your post. My husband died of a very rare form of cancer (GIST - sarcoma) on July 1. He was buried on July 13. I had hoped to have him around for at least 10 years, he was doing well, but in October of last year he took a turn for the worse. I can not tell you how hard i fought to find information, get him to the best doctors and do all that I could to help him and today I grapple daily with the thought that maybe I could have done something different to help him (intellectually, I know that this isn't true, but I still struggle with this). My husband was a very proud man and took his role as a husband very seriously. He did his best to protect and provide for our family. He took care of everything around our home and made sure that we were safe. All I want to to do these days is talk about him and how he was a perfect match for me and talk about how good he was. I miss him terribly. Terribly. I am also grappling with everything that happened to him during the last month of his life. It hurts me to know that he had to struggle mentally and physically. I try to focus on the good times that we had, but the image of his deteriorating body is really hard to get out of my head. I am in the process of closing his accounts, working with probate court and everything seems so final. i'm tired too. I do know that people have gotten through this. I have a huge family who are very supportive. I have hope that one day I will see things differently. I also believe that if I got through supporting him during his last days on earth, that I can get through anything. I don't know you, but i believe that you will be able to get through this too.