Loxlie

Lori had been having trouble sleeping and had asked me to get her a couple Unisom. when I handed them to her, she looked at me and said, "Thank you for being so good to me". Those were the last coherent words she spoke to me. I will re-live that moment every day for the rest of my life.

See You On The Other Side -Ozzy Osbourne and You Make Me Feel Brand New -Stylistics

It's been just over four months since I lost my wife, Lori. I go through a range of emotions. Sometimes, going from devastation to being pissed to complete numbness. Then, I remember her smile and the loving, beautiful woman she was and I cry tears of thankfulness that she is no longer in any physical or emotional pain. After she passed, a good friend of mine needed a place to stay, so he moved in. (He's also a widower) It has helped tremendously to have someone there who knows exactly what I'm going through. He knew my wife and is very understanding of my emotional roller coaster. I rented a storage space to put the king size bed in and her clothes and am taking on a new project (no matter how small) every weekend. It has helped me to get things in order at my own pace and not feel rushed. I'm seeing a grief counselor once a week, which has seemed to help. We had met on Christmas Eve 2008, so the holidays were pretty tough. I'm not looking forward to March (her birthday) or April (our anniversary), though part of me wants to just get them over with so my anxiety will at least subside. I still get the sinking feeling when I wake up and not see her next to me. One of the projects I work on a little at a time is her ash container. She always loved the Tree Of Life and I wood burned it on the lid, along with butterflies, which she loved.

I was given a letter by the funeral home to present at the airport. I haven't taken a flight yet, so I don't know if it's really needed.