I names the solicitor that did my will as my executor, so they will deal with everything from my funeral to the sale of the house snd distribution of funds. Before this option crossed my mind, I was super stressed, since none of my family live in the country I live and since I am pretty much alone in here. Now I am at peace knowing that if I die tomorrow everything is taken care of.
Im not at the stage of wanting to rebuild anything, sine I feel very much still married to my husband, but I did think that if in the future I would feel like dating again ,it would feel like a horrible betrayal and disloyalty, and that is killing me, sine I am a very loyal person. So being forced to be disloyal its something very cruel. But it is not like we can choose our husbands, we would choose them over any man in the world. We are forced to be without them, so if we rebuild our lives its just us trying to still function because we have to, not because we turn our backs on our marriages. As painful as it is to accept, our husbands/wives, are not part of this world/dimension anymore. They belong to a new world, spiritual one. Unfortunately we are still here, stuck, and we have three option: drawn in sorrow and wait to die, try to make life as beautiful as we can by ourselves until we are reunited with our spouses or try to rebuild our life with someone else. All three options are viable, the first one I not recommended. The last two are both good options and we are entitled to both of them if we choose to or depending on what unfolds in our lives.
My husband died 5 months ago, I cannot imagine moving out of this home, altough I cant really afford it. But this is my only bit of security and stability left after he left. Plus he loved this house. And as you, I would be so scared of being on my own, where I am at least neighbours know me as Marks wife, whereas if I would move people would know me as a single woman and I would feel very vulnerable, not to mention that I would not know the area or the people. However, I admire you for being able to move. Don't have any regrets. Yes, It will take a bit of time to get used but people are adaptable creatures, plus the house is going to keep you busy, which is good in my opinion. Over time this house will transform into your new home. Your husband must be very proud of you. Hugs.