The song -->
Lyrics below:
Death is real Someone's there and then they're not And it's not for singing about It's not for making into art When real death enters the house, all poetry is dumb When I walk into the room where you were And look into the emptiness instead All fails
My knees fail My brain fails Words fail
Crusted with tears, catatonic and raw I go downstairs and outside and you still get mail A week after you died a package with your name on it came And inside was a gift for our daughter you had ordered in secret And collapsed there on the front steps I wailed A backpack for when she goes to school a couple years from now You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known Deep down would not include you Though you clawed at the cliff you were sliding down Being swallowed into a silence that's bottomless and real
It's dumb And I don't want to learn anything from this I love you
After Years
Today, from a distance, I saw you
walking away, and without a sound
the glittering face of a glacier
slid into the sea. An ancient oak
fell in the Cumberlands, holding only
a handful of leaves, and an old woman
scattering corn to her chickens looked up
for an instant. At the other side
of the galaxy, a star thirty-five times
the size of our own sun exploded
and vanished, leaving a small green spot
on the astronomer's retina
as he stood on the great open dome
of my heart with no one to tell.
—Ted Kooser
Don't forget birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, any extracurricular activities or private lessons, sports equipment, meals out, movies out, any special TV programming you buy for him, his cellphone (if he has one), dental care, etc.
C.S. Lewis wrote a book about losing his wife called, "Surprised by Joy". I had just finished it and it was on my bedside table the day my husband died. Having just finished that book helped me so much in the early stages of grief. Subsequently I always thought of it as a "God thing".
A couple months after his death I heard about a Rick Warren sermon where he said that life was like two railroad tracks with one track signifying all the bad things that we regret or have suffered, and the other track being all the good things we love and enjoy. The tracks run parallel and simultaneous so we can't have one without the other. He said how we experience our life depends on which track we decide to focus our attention. That thought has stayed with me too.
It's been said many times before that every successful marriage ends in death. Even so, I would marry him again tomorrow and do it all over again if I could.
Posting this song in case it resonates with anyone else -->
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6rAmBt8xPs
BON IVER, "re: Stacks"
This my excavation and today is kumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed
I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell
On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load
Well I've been twisting to the sun and the moon
I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down
In a frozen ground
There's a black crow sitting across from me
His wiry legs are crossed
He is dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?
On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load
This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me
My Mom is 15 years older than her second husband, and going strong.
In the past year three younger guys - 25, 30, and 35 - have all expressed an interest in a relationship with me and I am also over 40.
I think it's pretty common.
The best thing that ever happened to me was getting married and having kids, so I won't date a younger guy unless he has already started his own family. I don't want to deny anyone that opportunity and for me casual relationships aren't an option.
Keep us posted how it works out if you decide to give him a try!