Five years today

[Elenuna]

I suppose that means I belong in this neck of the woods now.

 

Five years. Today always seemed so unattainable in the early days.

 

I wrote about my thoughts on today:

https://thewidowmosaic.com/2018/03/01/five-years/

 

 

(hugs) to all, thank you for helping me survive this journey.

 

 

[Peony]

This...  "Five years of loss.  Five years of tears.  Five years of growth.  Five years of survival.  Five years of regrets and guilt.  Five years of bittersweet steps forward.  Five years of a completely new life."

 

You have captured the 5 year deathaversary in such a profound way!  You are a very talented writer and I love reading your work.  It is very honest, sincere and inspirational!

 

Peace & hugs!!!

[Elenuna]

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. Many hugs to you 

[Toosoon2.0]

I'm really struggling over here at five years and three months.  I decided to change careers and left my job of 15 years, have a feeling we're going to be moving which means selling this house at long last but I suspect after everything that's also going to be an emotional cluster.  My daughter is thriving (if tweeny), and I'm happily remarried though blending families is no walk in the park.  I honestly thought that by this point I wouldn't still be struggling but in some ways I feel what I can only call the reverberations of my loss even more acutely now than I did let's say at three years.  It is some kind of weird realization for me - and this might just be me - that for as much as I tried to believe that some parts of my life and of my self could stay the same, they really can't.  As I get closer to the reality of selling this house and relocating, I feel this more and more.  It will hopefully be the change that will finally liberate me but right now I find myself clinging - even though I want these changes - to this last piece of that life I used to live.  My memories have faded a lot as it is - I guess I fear walking away and the finality of that break with the past as much as I know I want it.  Its a weird, weird place to be. 

[Elenuna]

Toosoon, I get it. It's incredibly hard to let go of that life we all used to have, even little pieces of it. All I have left of my old life with my first husband is a few boxes of stuff and the cats we adopted together. I moved away from our hometown a couple of years ago, and though it was a hard thing to do, in the long run, it did help me. Maybe this change can help you, too. I found that I could breathe easier in a new city, and it was nice to not be haunted by memories around every corner. It was very bittersweet. Hugs to you.