patswife22

I can't give any advice in how you should handle your situation as each new relationship is unique. My daughter was 19 when her dad passed. They were close. She moved out about a year after he passed. So basically I was alone alot. Eventually she told me she didn't want me to be alone. My husband and I were married 22 years; together for 27 years. More than half my life when he passed. Like at that time that was what I wanted. Have someone new. I eventually decided after 6 years of this journey of Hell on Earth I needed to do something to get me out of the rut I was in. I tried online dating. OMG, that was frightening. Scammers, weirdos, creeps. Had absolutely NO idea scammers were out there. Anyway, eventually I chatted with this one guy. After a month of online chatting he asked me when would we meet. To make a long story our 3 hour coffee date has turned out to be a full fledge relationship. He recently moved in with me. This past Mother's Day my daughter gave me a Mother's Day card that brought me to tears. In it she told me she was happy that I found someone to make me happy. Luckily, she and the new guy hit it off right from the start. Always greets him with a hug and her fantastic smile. Eventually the new guy and I plan on selling our places and ride off into the sunset in our RV and see what else the good Lord can show us. It also helps with the relationship that he is widowed as he gets it. So no problem talking about our spouses without any competition. As each of us handle our journey of widowhood, someone is not always going to be happy. But for me it took alot of patience. We all need to do what we need for US. For me I come first. If I'm not taking care of myself I'm no good for anyone else. This includes my daughter, other family members, friends and of course, the new guy. By the way in a few days it will be 3 years and one month since I met this fantastic guy who brings a smile to my face everyday. Actually we don't count years. We count months so each month on the 20th we say "Happy Anniversary" to each other with a smile and a kiss.

You know me. I'm always up for a widda's dinner. I can bring some friends along too. Hopefully if a date is suggested we are available. My Saturdays in September are filling up; 9/3 and 9/24 are already booked. So any other dates are fine. Otherwise, if October is scheduled I hope I/we can make it. Looking forward to it.

What a learning experience online dating was for me. I did a profile without putting personal info on it as directed. However, when I listed my marital status as widowed, I was unindated with what I eventually found to be scammers. The chats were amazing. Just what I wanted to hear. Then the shoe dropped. They asked for $$$$. Don't even ask cuz I don't have any to give to family members much less to a total stranger. I ended the chats for a bit and educated myself with the help of a fellow widow. I then changed my parameters to within 50 miles from my home. I was soon contacted by other guys. I made a date with this one guy at a bar less than 50 miles away from my home. As soon as he stepped out of his vehicle I knew it would NOT lead to a 2nd date; he lit up a cigarette. My one big no-no. I had set up another date with this one guy. He was a no-show. I got home and found out he had left me a message 10 minutes before we were suppose to meet. I did not have internet on my phone. He didn't want to re-schedule so I wrote him off. Another guy I met up on all days, Mother's Day. We met at a restaurant/bar. He was more interested in the hockey play offs than chatting. I finished my drink said my good bye and left. Eventually I struck up another online chat with one guy. As soon as I suggested meeting up he got evasive. We did exchange cell phone numbers. At the same time I was also chatting with another guy. This guy was more interested in online chatting. I told him that I was in the midst of something. He told me he would be patient but could we still chat online. What harm is that? When the other guy thought I was after his money I told him I was done. Good luck with his life and I was in the wind. I then pursued the other guy for the next month or so. Soon after chatting for about a month or so he asks to meet. I had absolutely no idea it would come to this. I was hesitant at first then thought WTH!!! I suggested a place closer to his place. I thought if it didn't work out I wouldn't have to worry about running into him again. The 3 hour coffee date turned into a date at the ballpark later that day. At the game I met his daughter and her boyfriend, his grandson and granddaughter and his ex-wife (the mother of his children) and numerous others. They all welcomed me into the group. To make a long story short that relationship turned into a full fledged relationship. He recently moved in with me. We've been together for alittle over 3 years and we couldn't be happier. Luckily, our families and friends have welcomed our relationship. Luckily, for me he understands my widow status as his previous wife passed away from breast cancer more than a year before we met. As each of us go through different aspects of our widowhood, learn from it. In this new relationship we tell each other "I love you", give each other a hug and NEVER take each other for granted. Keep the lines of communication open and go with the flow........whenever possible. This may not work for alot of you. You will know when it is your time to accept someone in your life. For me it was 6+ years of widowhood.

I live in SE Wisconsin. If anyone is up for dinner, I would be happy to organize. If this would be your first don't worry. I've been there. Miss those monthly dinners.