sikeuritgadeun

Thank you Lewis.  Your info was very helpfu[.

I haven't been here in a long while and was looking for someone I met here and lost contact  with.  Is their a members list?   Thanks.

:-\ I need to vent but I can't go into any details yet..but everything I've done up to this time has unraveled. I feel so lost and alone.  I haven't been here in a while and had to put this in writing.  I'm sorry if I am taking up space with such a non post but it has helped me to put my thoughts out there, even if it's so vague. 

I still want to talk to him.  I cry still.  Ive been seeing someone but it hits me.  I want my husband but thats never going to happen.  How do I stop wanting him?  How do I let myself move on?

I feel the same.  Seven years, going on eight,  I hate it.  I'm alone and feel so lost without my husband.  Only us, who have gone through this get it.  I understand. I really do.

Thank you all.  I don't know.  I was doing ok,  now I am slipping back to the early days of his death.  I miss him,  I miss our life,  I feel so alone and I don't fit in any longer anywhere. I have isolated myself and the one person that I met, that I had a real connection with, the one I let myself be me with, with no commitment, just to be a friend with, to talk to and feel alive again, left me, without a reason.  It hurts.  It hurts more then I would have thought.  I will never be so open again.  Lesson learned

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I can't move, lost and lonely.  I am giving up.  I am having trouble getting to this site.  Maybe I can figure a way back.  Thanks for the advice and knowing I am not alone when I read here.  Happy Spring all!!

To be honest, I am afraid to date.  I wouldn't know where to start.  I have been asked out but I politely decline, then run the other way.  I don't know why.  Well, I guess I do.  I was happily married and and I miss him greatly.  I am afraid to take that step.  I am OK alone most of the time but it does get lonely, I will admit that.  I do miss having someone special to talk to.  I wish I had that again at least.

Thank you    I am lost, alone.  It is hard and unreal to me.  I am trying to live but it is nothing like I had before.  I never imagined this would be my life.

Hi  I know about the tough decision to move.  Please take your time and decide what is best for you and your son.  It is early for you being a widow.  I would suggest to wait a while.    Wait.  You will know later what is right for you and your son.  I was told to wait a year before making a major decision. Think hard about what you want.

It's been seven years, why am I not getting any better?  My life is in shambles.  I really feel like I have lost my mind.  Everything is a struggle.  Everything.  I am so alone and have no one to talk to.  I know I should go get help but I can hardly leave my house.  I do the bare minimum to exist.  My kids are out of control.  I need them to move out on their own but all I get is flack from them.  This isn't easy.  I use to be happy.  I don't think I will ever be happy again.  I'm damn near throwing in the towel.  My life has gone to crap. From living a nice loving life with my husband to this.

Thank you both for your thoughts and understanding.  I know I don't post a lot.  I have been having a very hard time since my husband died.  Its been a long time but I am still suffering.  This is a place I can come and vent and not feel like I am being judged.  I thank you and everyone who has always responded to my posts.  I apologize that I don't comment more on other peoples posts.  I have a hard time commenting when I can't even get my own life under control.  But I do deeply appreciate the help I receive here, either through comments or reading others post.  Thank you everyone.

I was friends with someone.  We were good friends.  And then one day, never heard a word.  Isn't that great?  My trust is no longer.  Nothing like adding to a widows plight.  But I will forgive, what else is there to do?  It hurts.  Hurts because I don't know what happened.  I cared.  Guess it wasn't enough.  Life is hard on all of us.  I hope that one day we will all have healing.

Thanks everyone.  I am sorry we feel this way.  I have been sleeping a lot or tossing and turning getting no sleep.  My body hurts and my mind keeps racing but I am not getting anywhere.  I feel so alone.  I have been crying and I have been so out of it.  Not taking calls, not leaving the house.  I can't seem to snap out of this.  It all looks and feels hopeless to me.  I came here today to thank you all for understanding.  No one in my life does. 

And I am very weary.  Alone, bitter. afraid and feeling the way I did back in the beginning.  I am very afraid I will be like this forever.  My children are ungrateful dolts and I have no help from them.  I can not get them to move or get out of my house.  They seem to  be in a tag team against me.  I am this close to moving and not leaving a forwarding address.  I am venting here so no need to answer.  I am so tired, tired of being without my husband.  I guess I did something very wrong to be dealing with this, I just don't know what it was.  I was a good person who tried to help others.  Now I am all alone.  Why was he taken from me when I needed him the most.  I am almost broken to the point of giving up.

I get it too.  I miss my husband.  I have no one now to discuss things with.  In a perfect world none of our loves should have died.  I still deal with this 7 years out.  My wish is that we can keep our memories close to our heart, that is where we still have love.  Love that will always be with us. 

I hope I can start living again.  Not just thinking I am.  It hurts to say this but I still awake crying, missing him so.  I feel more empty than I have over these past years.  I want to heal, to feel better so I hope that is something I can accomplish. I am so lonely and sad and I hope this is the year I can make changes and start to live, even if it is by myself.

ladybug, It's been seven years for me and I miss him so much.  I think yesterday and today have been a real low for me.  You are right, no one would understand.  This is something that will stay with me forever.  I have never felt so alone in my life.   

Thank You for this.  I am alone today.  It's been hard but I am trying my best to remember the good times with my husband and family gatherings of the past.  It will never be the same for me but I can remember the love we all had for one another.  That at least keeps me going.

Thank you for this,  Somehow I wasn't able to reach the site,  I found this:

http://gratefulness.org/light-a-candle/step-1

Hope this is the right site. 

Merry Christmas,  Happy Hanukkah, and all the best for a Happy New Year.  Hoping that Peace will find us all in 2017.

I hear you and am sending a (((hug))) your way.  The Holidays do make us feel bad.  We don't have what we once did and it is so very painful.  I hope that you will find some peace this Holiday season.  Everyone here knows exactly how your feeling.

I Know,  seven years for me too and I feel the same. 

Someone is after me, wants more than I can be comfortable with at this time.  I still love my husband after seven years and I guess I am just not ready.  Hard to say this but its me , not him.  I want love, I want a relationship but I am my own worse enemy.  I will admit it here,  I'm afraid.  Afraid I will never be able to give freely like I did with my DH.  I just don't know how.  I was hurt before, afraid that will happen again.  Go figure.  His death has me scared.  Don't know if there is any hope for me.

It is a cruel joke, isn't it.  The best marriage, the person you thought you would grow old with, taken away and we are here, drifting.  Trying to swim upstream, struggling, seeing the shore ahead but it keeps getting farther away.  Yes, the happiness we had, the future was ours,.  It was fun while it lasted.  Then we are here alone trying to grasp how to live, how to become whole again but how can we?  We lost a part of us that helped make us who we were.  Probably the best part of us.  Our loss is irreplaceable.  What I had with my DH is gone.  I am adrift in this world now.  I don't fit in.  I don't know how to anymore.  Life as I knew it when DH was alive is like a dream.  I am now living in an unknown reality that I am finding it very hard to escape from.