sikeuritgadeun

My life is falling apart.  I don't know how to turn it around.  I loved him for years.  How do I love another?  The one who I met after DH died, doesn't want me.  He wooed me and I fell for him and now it's over.  There's trouble at home and I want to run away but I have too many responsibilities.  I thought things would get better after seven years but they haven't.  It has become harder each passing year.  I don't know how long this can go on.  Thanks for reading, I had to get this out and this is the only place I can go.  The upcoming holidays are not helping either.  It makes life all the more miserable for me.

Yep, I understand.  It's now seven years for me.  His birthday is in a few weeks.  I've been dreaming of him for weeks now.    We have the same Peter Pan quote! 

Thank you so much for understanding this.  It is hard.  It is so hard and no one in my life truly understands. I keep getting up and keep moving, that is all I can do I guess.  Keep going, one day at a time. 

It has been 7 years that he died.  His birthday will be in a few weeks now.  I have been dreaming every night of him.  Then I wake up and the reality hits me so hard.  I sleep and I am in my old life then I am awake and see that it's not real.  It is getting harder for me as the years go by I think.  I miss him so much and I feel that I am not healing.  How does one heal when you've lost the love of your life?  I keep on moving and trying to live, but deep inside I am still numb.

Seven years and I am still alone.  A few dates but nothing has evolved into anything.  I suppose I am getting along on my own but it would sure feel good to know I had someone to love and who loved me.  It is a scary thought that I may be alone forever.  I was happily married, I hope that one day things will start looking brighter for me.

This is my life as well.  Thank you for writing it. 

I want it all too, well, maybe just some.  After 7 years I am tired of being on my own.  I want to love someone and have them love me.  My kids are almost on their own.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.  But I've been burned and let down.  I can't even make friends anymore.  I am so lonely I can't stand it.  Sorry if I jumped in here and I have no advice.  It's getting harder everyday for me, not easier.

I see him with me, holding me, telling me it will be alright. Telling me he adores me and that I am beautiful, like he always did.  Holding me closer saying he never wanted to leave me. And me telling him he is with me always, that he is forever in my heart.

Thank you both.  It's so weird how this time of year I get more headaches and nervous feeling stomach.  My nerves are on edge.  God, How I miss that man. 

Beautiful.  Makes me cry and miss my DH more.

I don't know what to say just that I feel the same way.  I know my social anxiety has a lot to do with it. I'm not sure I will ever meet anyone that I click with again.

How are you doing mikeeh?  Are you feeling any better?  Thinking of you this morning.  I hope things are looking brighter for you. 

Hard to comprehend this.  It feels like yesterday that he was here.  I knew the date was coming but it's hitting me very hard.  All week I have been dreaming of him and waking up crying.  How I wish this was all a horrible nightmare and I would wake with him by my side.  It is horrible, I awake alone and crying.  I miss him.

mikeeh,  I know your going through a real soul hurt.  It hurts so deep inside.  Try to keep yourself busy. Keep your mind occupied with something else.  I know it is easy to say don't keep dwelling on this.  As time goes by things will feel better for you.  It will take time. Try to focus on yourself instead of her.  Be kind to yourself.

Thank you all for the advice.  I have very severe social anxiety and I find it hard to get out there these days.  All the friends we had while DH was alive are gone.  I really don't know anyone who could introduce me to a friend.  I am trying not to isolate myself but it's hard.  I  have read that when your not looking that's the time you'll meet someone.  Maybe someday that will happen for me. 

I wish there was an easy way to meet a guy.  The few I've met haven't worked out.  Having coffee with someone or meeting on line hasn't worked for me.  It's been a long time since I dated and I don't go out to bars, online has been a bust, it seems if I'm interested in them their not interested in me and vice versa.  I am happy alone, but it would be nice to find someone to talk and maybe do some things with.  I don't know, just thinking here, I don't know quite how to meet people. 

Someone said this to me after a heartbreak I was going through:

"This is your life and your writing your story.  Don't ever let someone else hold the pen."

I'm sorry your feeling so hurt.

  Thank you SoVerySad ,  Sounds like you have been through a lot.  There are so many things going on in my life right now and I am having a hard time.  I'm trying to get a handle on it.  Knowing I can reach out here is very helpful to me. 

Thank you Wheelerswife,  I do take something for the anxiety but things have been rough lately.  I have social anxiety too and it's hard for me to join any groups.  Coming here is even hard.  I am glad that getting a dog has helped you.  Thanks again for your advice and good luck to you.

Stuck and trapped, I feel the same.  I want to change but I can't.  I try, I really do but I can't move.  I wish I knew how to change this.

I've been having so much anxiety and panic attacks lately.  I am trying hard to get things under control.  I am glad I am able to come here and let things out.  Thanks for this site and to all who understand what we go through being widowed.  I have no one in my life to talk with so I am glad to be here. 

First time posting on this Sexy Widowed Saturday Night.  I'm alone, dog snoring at my feet and a cat on my lap.  Watching a Bob Newhart rerun . Ha, Good times!  Glass of wine and all's good.  Please don't be jealous!!

Wishing everyone a calm night

JeanGenie, Yes that is what I miss.  I have no one that cares for me, that thinks about me.  It is such a lonely feeling knowing ihat I now walk through this life alone.  It's very scary at times.  After all this time I still cry.  I miss him so much.  He will be in my heart forever.

I also feel this way.  I have lost all motivation.  There is no joy or happiness for me anymore.  I am overwhelmed and tired.  When my husband was alive and well we did things, alone and together.  Now knowing that he is not here has stopped me in my tracks.  I gave up somehow,  I am trying to pull myself out of this place but it's hard.  Losing him has changed my life forever.

I do have some good days and I keep moving on, I do what I have to do to survive.  Hopefully I will get that spark back and not feel that life is so pointless.

The sadness is always with me and it always will be.  The best days of my life were happy knowing that we were together.  It hasn't been the same since he died.  I miss him more everyday.