13 years have gone by and again we ended up in bed together. When Jack died, his best friend was living with us for over 2 years. When Jack died, I slept on the couch for months. His best friend one night came and laid with me, and it kept happening. Then he offered me his bed. I finally accepted and crawled into bed with him. Not was he was offering, but it lead to intimacy. We both felt guilty and wrong, it had only been a few months since Jack died. We were 27 years old.
Then, I moved, he got married, had 2 kids. I would visit him and our other friends ever few years, we would reminiscence about Jack, tell stories, keep him alive in spirit. I even made friends with his wife and played Auntie to his kids. Then they divorced early this year. I visited him and our friends like I had many times. But this time, we made love. When I got back home, I realized I fell in love with him.
I do not know if I should tell him, and if so how. He is going thru hell with his x-wife and custody of the kids, he really doesn't need me to bring more drama into his life, but I cant stop thinking about him.
I also feel that if I never tell him and something happens to him, I will go thru all those feelings of unfinished business like I battle with Jack.
Can anyone relate? Any advice? Thanks. I'm new to this forum, but 13 years into my journey.
The grief doesn't stop, it metastases like a tumor.
