Patty

Mike, NG isn't sure what he wants. How to deal with this when it happens. He does say he is not competing in anyway, he knows he can't. He is not at all feeling he has to. Just unsure what we will do when it comes to birthday next year. His birthday was just two days ago. We celebrated over the weekend with a wonderful evening out. The actual day was Tuesday. I kept it lighthearted as I could. Seeing him briefly. I fell apart that evening after trying to push it out of my head all day. He called me in the middle of my breakdown, realizing what was happening. I didn't want to talk. I needed to go through it alone. He understood. The next day is when he expressed the concern. Again, I love the idea of not giving the day power. I too, think it's best to look at the day as a day of 'I made it through another year'. Thank you for that!

DH passed away from a tragic drowning accident. He saved someones' life in the process. It was a terrible day and the anniversary is always terrible for me. I agree with Mizpah. I would rather celebrate DH birthday and forget about giving power to the anniversary. Ironically, NG birthday was Tuesday. We celebrated last weekend with a wonderful night out. I felt it better to separate the days. This being our 'first' time going thru this. We have been together only 3 months. We do not live together. Tuesday was spent partly with him and I pushed everything aside trying to forget the day, until that evening I gave in and lost it. He knew when he called me that evening I has having a hard time. He is very sensitive to this and his concern is, how do we deal with this next year, and the year after? I don't know what to tell him?

Need advice. My husband has been gone 3 years now. I'm in my first relationship and his birthday is the day my husband passed away. He seems concerned about this. He wonders how this will affect us every year. Any ideas how to celebrate or not celebrate?