Jen81287

It does help. Knowing I'm not alone and there are others who understand first hand what I'm going through helps. It doesn't ease the pain much, but it somehow makes it easier to get through it.

Im 29, my husband was 32, we had been together 10 years married 4. We also had a 6 year old and a 1 year old together. He died of what appeared to be some sort of very sudden organ failure on the 5. I won't know more about that for some time. But the last 11 days have been chaotic to say the least. With a whole lot of help from my mother in law and some friends, his funeral, and our house was packed and planned in a week. Then we took the 3 day drive cross country to move with family. This evening was really the first opportunity I had to take a breath, and when I did everything hit me like a ton of bricks. It felt as if it was in that moment my soul had finally shattered under the stress, I found myself not wanting to go on. My stomach has started acting the way it did when my father died, sporadic sharp stabbing Pains. It one day it will pass, but when it started last time I wasn't able to eat for weeks. Anything would aggravate it, even the smallest sip of water. And here it is, starting again at the loss of my husband. I am reaching out for someone who knows the loss. It feels like I really could die of a broken heart.