JalapenoJelly

I lost DH 12 years ago and our DD had just turned 1. At the beginning it was so difficult to even see baby clothes. He wanted 3, I wanted 4. I miss being pregnant and nursing and even changing diapers. I love my DD but I wanted her to have siblings so bad. I had wanted to start trying for baby #2 as soon as possible but my midwife said to wait a year. And while it’s probably been easier caring for only 1 and not 2 kids being widowed, I still kick myself for listening to her. I just turned 40 and I have no hope of having more kids. I haven’t had an offer of even a date since DH died. I don’t know if I could move on anyway. But the hurt and pain of not having more has come back since I’ve hit my 40s.