MelGibbs

I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I am going through the same thing. My husband died on 3/24/17 in a tractor accident on our land. He was clearing some trees in our woods. He loved that stupid old tractor and I keep thinking what if I had just called in to work that day and spent the day with him like he always asked me to do? He would definitely still be here (or so my brain says). I guess it is normal for us to go through the "what if's"...human nature. I have to stop myself because I know that is not healthy and not helping me heal. I hope you will find some peace, I hope we all do. Hugs to you.

Thank you for all the replies. It has been almost 2.5 weeks now. Family is gone and reality has set in now. My boss has been amazing and set me up to work at home for a while so I can heal a little and be close to the kids (I work an hour away). I am not sure how I will ever go back physically to work. The last day I was there was when the cops came and told me the news. Those memories will never leave. I am in so much pain, I still cannot stop crying and lots has been triggering me. I think I need to go to some counseling or something. The kids are back in school as of last Monday and seem to be doing well considering. I have been having lunch with them some days and taking/picking them up from school. I am praying we get to a place where we feel like a complete family again...I don't see that happening. I am planning a vacation for the week of Father's Day and my hubby's birthday (they are one week apart). I am scared of that week.

Thank you all so much. I am taking it breath by breath. Somehow I am still breathing and functioning. I have a lot of love and support surrounding the kids and I so that is what is getting us through. Preparing for the service on Thursday and gathered photos for the slideshow. Not sure how we are going to get through that. I so appreciate each of you and your replies. Each one gives me hope.

Jennica thank you for posting this and everyone who replied. I have the same question! My husband passed suddenly on Friday and my kids and I are devastated. My daughter is 14 and her bio dad passed years ago. Eric and I had been married almost 9 years (next week) and he just formally adopted our daughter last month. Our son is 8. Yesterday I cried pretty much all day and there were friends and family around us. At one point I was curled up in a ball on my bed and my 8 year old came in and patted my back and told me everything will be OK. I am trying so hard to stay strong for them and also wondered if they will be ok. They are strong kids and I have faith we will get through this together somehow. Trying to keep things together for the kids!

Thank you all. Words from people who have been through this mean so much to me right now. We had so many plans for our future...his stuff is everywhere. I have clothes of his in the laundry basket. Every little thing is triggering me. There was still ice in his Yeti cup when I had to wash it. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. Lots of friends and family around for the next week which has been great but I can't help but think of how it will be when they all leave and it's just me and the kids. I at least slept some last night and am not crying as much. I have strong faith and am trying not to be mad at God and have faith he will get is through. I am not one to ever ask anyone for help or show weakness but I am going to try to get over that and accept help and even reach out. Your replies mean so much to me. It feels like no one around me really understands so I am so glad I found this group. THANK YOU ❤️ Melisss

He was 44. It was a tragic accident and I don't know how I am going to go on without him. He was my rock. The kids and I are lost and I don't know how I can raise them without their dad. I consider myself a very strong woman so this has really thrown me for a loop. I miss him so much!