I have been a widow for 11 years. Kids were 5 and 3 when their dad passed away. A couple years out, I started dating and eventually met who I thought was a wonderful man and we had been together for 8 years, until last month. With very little warning, this man decided he was bored in a committed relationship with me and wanted to go separate ways. We have, however, become VERY fond of each others kids and he realizes what an important role he has filled/played in their life and told both me and my kids that he would continue to be "there for them." Over 8 years time, the five of us (me and my 2 kids and him and his daughter) had become an unconventional little family. Although we never lived together, we did almost everything together, including holidays, vacations, etc. Obviously all that has come to a screeching halt. This man started dating another lady within a week after "dumping" me. If this was just me, I know the easiest way to recover from such a devastating breakup would be to cut ties completely....but it's not just me. Both of my kids, but mostly my son (16yo) is having an incredibly hard time. He feels loyalty to me, but would love to continue to engage with my ex. I have even tried to encourage it if that is what he wants, but he is REALLY struggling with the dynamics of all this. Add to that he just recently found out about the new woman and he is realizing how permanent the breakup is and that I (and by default, all of us) have been replaced. He basically feels like he's lost a dad....AGAIN! Help! Any experience with this? Ideas? Counseling? Anything? I'm just trying to get through the day to day myself. Never expected to have to help kids navigate through a second loss.
