@wheelerswife thank you for the welcome and I appreciate the support. I think with so much happening with the kids I have been putting a lot of my own needs second and know I need to make sure that I take care of myself to best take care of them. It's all very overwhelming, but you are right that I've been lucky to have so much love in my life and I'll hold on to that.
@julester3 yeah I definitely have bottled up a lot. For me, I guess I feel a lot of judgment because of how she died. It's like I want the world to know that no, we had this great love and we had these tough times, but we overcame and look at what a great team we were.... and then she's gone. I know that she was ill and when it comes down to it, it wasn't her fault. It still hurts though and at times I feel abandoned and I'm worried about screwing up with the kids. They are my world. But man it is hard alone, especially when my youngest does have some special health needs. I may message you about seizures, I appreciate the offer.
