Cela

I know this post is a little older, but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry to meet you here. I feel like I can relate to you in some ways as I am also a newlywed. It definitely is completely unfair. My husband passed after a motorcycle accident almost 2 months ago. Everyday is a challenge. I hope you are receiving some support at home. Im sending you hugs.

Thank you for the welcome to the site. I agree that I deserved a lifetime and I'm sure everyone here feels similarly about their spouse. Even if I had years, I don't think any amount of time would be enough...but being that we only enjoyed so little time as a married couple it is like a kick to the stomach or something. My post was a jumble of thoughts because I feel like I still have no idea what to say about it all. My emotions seem to be all over and from one minute to the next they can change. I never realised before how much physical, gut wrenching pain, was experienced with grief. I've never lost anybody else close to me before, I know that makes me lucky. I wish I knew what I should be doing now. I hate waking up, I hate going to work, I hate my empty nights...I hate this life. I want to have my Eddie by my side again, I know that is impossible. I had 6 years filled with unimaginable love and I know for that I must be thankful, but selfishly I want so much more! I don't want more days to pass without him in my life. I know I have to find the strength to keep continuing on.

I desperately was seeking to find others who may relate and found this forum. I was referred to a grief group and have attended, but it is for all losses. Those my age are there for other reasons and the widows are older and, to be honest, I haven't felt particularly welcomed by them. I'm 25 and I was only married a short 2.5 weeks. I was married at the beginning of June and my husband was in a motorcycle accident and passed on the 22nd. I have survived 54 days without the love of my life. I did not think I could even make it this far, but here I am. I feel broken beyond repair, but I seem to be on auto-pilot and it has carried me through most days. I miss my Eddie so much I don't know what to do anymore.