christine

Thank you so much for your replies. Maureen sorry you had to experience this twice. Brokenheart2 it's comforting knowing that I am not the only one grieving backwards. There are no support groups where I live. I did however visit a doctor a few days ago as I felt I could not go on. I had had enough and tried so hard but still got to nowhere. He put me on antidepressants anti anxiety medication. The money cannot be revived. Everything was done under the provision of true friendship. Well it seems it wasn't the case. I lost both the money and someone I thought of as his best friend. Yet I still can't figure out why now. I realise my life is completely different in every possible way but I thought I could handle it. I was strong enough, active,tried to be brave. It seems I was wrong there too. I have been trying to take one step at a time and keep going despite all. I just see no reason. Thank you for your comforting words.

Hi to everyone. I am new to this forum, aged nearly 40, no children and I lost my husband 11 months ago. In addition to that just a few days later I discovered that I am financially that all our income was gone by his best friend. So now not only I am alone without a husband I loved so much but I am also without income from being quite wealthy. I find it difficult to adjust to either reality. My life is tottaly destroyed. I see no point in anything, no reason for trying. I returned to work (self employed) immediately after his death. worked crazy hours so i didn't have to go home. Only went to have a shower and sleep. Which home to go back? He made it a home. Now is is just an empty space. I don't cook anymore, what for? I mostly eat cold sandwiches, not sitting on table, standing up, walking up and down the kitchen, just for the sake of eating. I managed to pull through. But about a month ago, I tottaly had a melt down. Not crying, I rarely do. Not even cried at funeral. So now I can barely work, I don't want to speak to people, I just want to stay in bed and preferably not wake up in morning. It seems I cannot handle the changes in my life. Why now? And how do I proceed? I just feel that I can't do anything. Not interested. No point. People said it gets better over time. I gave it time. It got worse. Now what?