KimberlyMarie88

Thank y’all for reaching out to me. I cried the majority of the morning and stopped once my head started hurting. I thankfully had a friend who didn’t go to work that day and she spent the day with me. I’m sorry y’all have been through this too.

I'm glad you found comfort being in your home. It is tough for me not being in ours, but I know I would never leave if I stayed in mine. I'm so glad you have a nice support system that is willing to be there for you, and listen to you. I'm also glad your job is very supportive, and understanding. Death is painful regardless how it happens. For me, it's so hard to wrap my head around it. The last time I saw my partner was that morning when I kissed him goodbye to head to work, then he was gone in less than 12 hours. He was so healthy and perfect and the suddenness of this is hard to accept or understand. Just remember, he would have never wanted this to happen, and he would want you to be strong. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. Just do whatever makes you happy in every moment, regardless how selfish it may seem.

The main thing that has kept me moving was, 1) I took FMLA for 1 week to have time to myself a month after he passed. Somehow that has helped me, and allowed me to spoil & love myself. 2) I've surrounded myself with my friends (the ones that stayed and don't mind me bringing him up constantly) , and his mom since his passing. I have a planner that is pretty much full from the moment I get off work almost everyday. 3) We both had mountain bikes that he desperately wanted me to get into and ride with him. But, I hated it until he passed. I've made myself go outside, I've volunteered at dog shelters, and I'm picking up new outdoor activities to help me feel like I'm living. Staying in the house will not make you feel alive. 4) I've moved back home with my family temporarily. I do not live in our house. Being around people has kept me from hitting the floor constantly. It's almost 3 months since he has passed, and I do not cry EVERYDAY. I hurt, I think about him constantly, I'm depressed. Everyone thinks I'm so happy and normal now, but I am truly depressed. I cry all the time before I go to bed at night. I make myself be strong, and while I'm at work I find something to distract me. I work in a building with 100 people, and it's hard being the "Girl who cries all day". Somehow I've found a balance at work, but when I leave it's different. Honestly, it's ok to cry and be alone when you want to. I won't say everyone heals different because this isn't a break up and you're not going to heal. You learn how to survive this hole in your heart. Do whatever you want to do in that moment and just try to live.

I just started crying reading your post, and i'm crying as i'm responding. My boyfriend of 3 years (he was 36) passed away 11 weeks ago in a sudden death. I remember the first day so well. I felt like i died, my soul had died, that i was just full of this unbearable pain. I always imagined this pain to feel so differently based on movies, books, and people I know. This pain you're feeling is the worst pain i've ever felt, and i am so sorry you're going through this. I've been seeing a grief counselor once a week since two weeks after he passed away. It helps to talk to someone who is willing to listen and can understand. I chose a grief counselor that lost her son at a young age. This pain she is familiar with, and i've felt so relatable to her. It's ok if you choose to see a counselor or therapist and you don't feel like it's for you or they do not fit. Check out more than one if you need to. I found it helped me tremendously with daily battles i have, and that thoughts/actions i've made are normal. Living life without them seems wrong, and unfair at such young ages. Just know you're not alone, and that if you need people to talk to at any point we are all here.

It will be 10 weeks 3 days tomorrow on my 30th Birthday. I can NOT stop crying, and remembering my last birthday with him. I will not be working that day, and I'm sure I'll be alone crying the majority of the day by myself. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do for my "Dirty Thirty" birthday. It makes me so ANGRY that everyone thinks I'm normal when I'm so far from normal. I'm having to continue living and aging without him. I'm trying to keep myself from falling down a hole I can't climb out of. I stay busy all the time, but it's when I'm alone the pain starts rolling in. How do I survive this and Holidays without him? I see how people have gone YEARS without their loved ones, and I just can't see it nor do I want to.

Thank you Megan. Im worried my bosses will get to the same point. I did take FMLA this past week. It has helped me a whole bunch. I'm so sorry you're in the same boat that I am in. I will be praying for you as well. The idea that years will pass... makes me super depressed... I still can't believe he is gone, and it'll be a month Wednesday now... It doesn't feel real, and i wish it wasn't. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone, and you took paths that i'm currently taking. I'm seeing a grief counselor as well. She is helping me a decent amount. I kept going to his wreck site where he passed. And, she told me to not make a place a shrine. I haven't been by there in almost two weeks now. i haven't looked his name up on google in a week. i was constantly obsessing, and i've finally made myself stop. It's been helping me a good bit. But, that hole in my heart is always there.

I have the form ready to be filled out by my Greif Counselor if I decide to. I don't know if it would be a good idea to have that much time on my hands. But, I was thinking about doing it to travel to some places we had been to (Probably self torture), or go to places he always wanted to go to. I really don't have a plan, I just know work is really hard.

Has anyone taken FMLA after losing your soulmate? How did you make it through this? Did you go to work or take time off? I'm thinking about taking three weeks off (two weeks after his passing). I just don't know if that's a good idea to have that much time on my hands, or would it really help heal me. My job is very supportive, but i'm in a building with 100 people. I literally sit at a desk and cry alllllll day. I walk down the halls with tears in my eyes and i can barely get myself to stay there all day. I just need some light on this decision i'm debating on making.

I just lost the love of my life on April 9th due to a motorcycle accident. I had no idea he was on his bike and didn’t even find out until the next day. I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. We just planned to take off work and travel together for two years. My future feels very much robbed too. We would have been together for 3 years this time. I’m 29 about to be 30 and dated him at 21 for a little while and stayed friends until we dated again. I can’t eat and can’t sleep. If you would like to talk to someone I’m always here as our hearts stopped beating close to the same day. I’ve chosen to go to a grief counselor and that helps some. Mainly because my counselor lost her son at 18 ten years ago in a car crash. Somehow people make it through this. We will make it through this. I lived with my boy friend and haven’t stepped foot back in that house since the morning I last saw him. Grieve the way you need to grieve. Scream/cry I don’t care. Just do what you need to do to get the feelings out. You’re not alone

Hello, my name is Kimberly and I’m 29 (turning 30 in June). My soulmate died unexpectedly in a motorcycle crash. We just got back from a wonderful weekend in Asheville NC and had bought a brand new motorcycle on the way home. I had no idea he was riding his bike that Monday night and didn’t find out about his passing until 4:00 AM Tuesday. We dated in 2010 and have been together since 2015. We didn’t want to have children or get married. We wanted to travel north/South America. He bought this sprinter van and converted it to a tiny house for us to travel and live in. It’s almost complete and we had just used that shower he finally finished the three days before he passed away. We planned to take off work the beginning of next year and be together. My whole future feels like it’s no longer. I’ve never had suicide thoughts but of course it runs through your brain. I honestly don’t want to continue life without him but I’m not going to put my loved ones through what I’m going through. He was only 36 years old. He’s been in my whole adult life. I’m barely 100 pounds now since I can barely eat. I will be going into his house tomorrow since that Monday morning when I woke up in his arms. I just can’t bare this. I’m seeing a grief counselor to help me through this. I’m considering taking FMLA and not go back to work. I cry in this office building allllllll day and everyone just stares at me. I’m not seeing the light at the end of this. He took a picture of us three days before he passed and I’ll always cherish this moment.