Julia

Thank you to everyone for your kind and compassionate words. It's just past seven weeks, I finally got the court order that said I have the right to cremate his body so I did that and got his remains last week. Last night was the worst so far by a long shot. I thought I was getting better but last night dispelled that notion. Shock still comes and goes a bit. I'm fungible but only because I have to.

Thanks, Maureen. I can't tell if he's listening or not but I like to think he is. It usually makes me feel better but sometimes it makes me cry my eyes out. Kinda a craps shoot.

It's not getting easier. It's really setting in now. I talk to Chris every night, hoping he can somehow hear me. It physically aches. I don't know what to do without him.

We live in Colorado, which is a common - law state. Since we never, on paper, got married, his family is saying we weren't married. I have a good lawyer and documentation of our common law status, his family is just being difficult about it.

Hi, everyone. I'm Julia. My husband died on Sept. 1st. Today is four weeks.Saturdays have been hard for me. Chris was 50 and died suddenly from cardiac arrest. I'm 45. We have no children ourselves, but I have two young adult daughters. I think I'm still in shock to an extent. It seems to come and go. I'm not living alone, thankfully. We were living with his mom, who died 8 days before Chris. The house and estate are in limbo because of the closeness of their deaths and because his family are being horrible. I moved in with my mom because being in our house was too painful. Kept having flashbacks since his heart stopped at home and I watched the EMTs revive his heart. It was horrible. He died 10 hours after I called 911. There are three attorneys involved and due to his father, who hasn't seen Chris in nine years, sticking his nose in at the mortuary, Chris still hasn't been cremated. The mortuary now needs a court order to decide who gets to cremate him, so my attorney is working on that. That will be might first step in healing, as I've been distraught over him not being cremated. Anyway, I'm glad to have found this forum. The posts I've read are full of compassion and helpful info. Julia