Joan

thank you   this shit is insane

nice to be welcomed    i am having a really hard time with the loneliness   i am trying desperately not to do the rebound guy thing     i am staying busy and fucking worn out but still can shake this shit, not use to being this fucking emotional  i feel bi fucking polar      obsessing over a younger guy at work    like that is a fucking good idea     what the BLOODY FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME I AM NOT THAT STUPID!

6 months  now FUCK the lonliness   FUCK guilt that makes you think you could have done more to keep him alive longer,  cancer the fucking fickle fiend