MIK3

I had an interesting encounter. Normally I ignore the simple "Hi" or "Hey there!" intros, but I responded to one who listed 'widowed' as her marital status. I offered my condolences and asked "how long has it been?".  She responded that she didn't know what I meant and she'd forgotten what she'd written in her profile. Later, she explained that she was really divorced and that she was trying an experiment to see if 'widowed' would get her more hits on her profile.  She said, though, that she knows what it feels like to be widowed.  I told her that her experiment makes it clear that she doesn't.

Pretty sure I'll be able to attend. I mentioned this to a widow from RI but she hasn't decided yet.

A definite possibility for me. It's been a while. The place is perfect regardless of the weather.

My widowed playlist on iTunes has been holding steady for a while at just over 120 songs.  I added this one today:

GHOSTS by Jesse Winchester

I'm digging this one up from 2011.  I went alone to see a band called Widowspeak.  This song is by the band that opened the show, The Dum Dum Girls:

I found the site at 3 weeks out. I was so wanting to connect with people who could relate on a young widowed level, but I'd just missed out on what was apparently a wonderful local Bago.

I suggested a dinner Bago at a nearby casino. One widow was a member of the Mohegan community. She & I sort of co-arranged the dinner, though she did most of the arranging. Only two others came, so it was a nice dinner for four strangers who had so much to talk about.  Part of the plan was to enjoy a free Robert Cray concert after dinner, but we all agreed that we'd rather find a quieter place in the casino to talk a while longer.  It was the first time since losing my wife that I could enjoy deep conversation with anybody.  It was refreshing, heartbreaking, healing and emotional, and as I was driving back home I felt like I was suddenly all alone again.  I'd had a few hours with new friends with whom I could talk openly and I really needed that.  One of them has attended a few other Bagos I've been to afterward.  I haven't seen either of the other two widows since then, but all three of them gave me a major push start to healing.

This is more from the perspective of losing a parent, but the video brings it around to being widowed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-EEynSrD5s

I'm 7-? years out. My 1st bago was 7 years ago. Anyone who's recently widowed, I highly recommend attending a bago.  This is where you'll find mutual understanding and support.  The hardest part about your first bago is going back home and realizing there are actually people with whom you've been able to openly share how you feel; now you're returning home to hard reality.  It's not like a therapy session; it's real people who also desire contact with others who get what this new reality feels like.