Missmybecky

Sorry my friend, I understand how you feel as I am in your shoes. Day at time, do your best, drink some wine. Try to get some time for yourself if you can, I know how hard that is believe me, and get exercise it really is the best medicine.

Colorado. of course! I have lived here most of my life and there is only one other place I would consider going. It is a great place to live and most everyone here is from somewhere else anyway.

I get this. I sometimes feel jealous of my friends and family that are still married and doing well. I am in my mid 30's and good things usually happen to people at my age. Those things are happening to some of the people I know, new car, new homes, etc. I am doing ok but it is a struggle raising 2 kids alone to say the least. When I start feel jealous, I remind myself to be thankful for what I have. I really am lucky and I am in a good position despite being widowed and I am doing a good job juggling everything, I really don't think that many of the people that I know would be able to do what I do. It sounds like you are making the best of your situation and that is all that you can do. Live your life the way that you want and make the most of each day and try not to compare.

I could hear her calling my name in the middle of the night like she did when she was sick shortly after she died, but honestly, I was such a mess that I am not sure what it was. I don't think she has visited me lately, but I do think she "talks" to me. I notice things in my day to day life that are slightly odd but very repetitive to the point that I take notice and try to understand the underlying meaning. Eventually, I can string these things together to form meaning and it is eerie because, the meaning makes sense and it is formed in a way that she and I would understand. I used to be fairly oblivious, but know I look for meaning in everything I witness and experience.

I really understand this problem, but it is even different for me. As a single dad with kids I find it very hard to fit in. Casual relationships and shallow conversation is fine, but if I try to become closer others and make friendly relationships it becomes difficult. Some of this is my perception and my personality type but, I don't fit in with the married couples to well nor do I fit in with groups of single moms and there are no single dads that are full time parents like me that I know about. This is something that I did not expect, but it is something that like so many other things that have come up in the last 2.5 years, I have had to figure out how to deal with it.

I always hated the term "New Normal" it was created by "Grief Experts" and has no real meaning. In many ways I am feeling better than I ever have but, I still don't feel as if my situation feels normal in any way new or otherwise.

Social life? My kids are 7 & 5, will someone please remind me what social life means?

Yes, Rob. I call it living on the treadmill. I pray that traction will take place and that I will become engaged into the life that I want and the one that I have been working towards, but for now I guess I'll just keep runnin'.

At least you get responses. I say nice things and keep it clean and get nothing in return, wait maybe that is what I am doing wrong.