N43EM

lol that is a lovely idea!

Oh yes, that longing. I feel it too. Its funny what affects us. Pictures, places, sounds. My husband died in his airplane, but when I hear a little plane overhead its a happy sound for me. But the sight of a dad with a little girl, or old couples holding hands, or the bike rack where he used to park his bike, they tear me apart. I hope you are feeling a little better than the day you wrote the post.

Well, so much for all my worry and stress. The vacation was awesome!!!!! Everything went so smoothly, we were in an amazing place (Big Sur CA) and had so much fun. Honestly, it was one of the best vacations of my life. I did hate going to bed alone at the end of the day, but my kids were great company and so excited about everything. It seems to be the case that the "living" is usually better than the "anticipating" where fears, doubts, and would-have, should-haves come into play. Have to remind myself of that.

Yes, I want to talk about it! I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years now with a widower. He lives close to 2 hrs away- and its across wyoming highways, which means the weather dictates travel (the roads are routinely closed and/or dangerous so plans are constantly altered or canceled). The distance is difficult, but for us the challenge of children is even harder. We have almost no time alone, and the added frustration of different school breaks and schedules. But, I do feel it is worth it. Just hard. So I guess long-distance is complicated by so many factors (just like widowhood), that its hard to make any generic statements about it!

Thanks! We're heading to the ocean, which I love so much, so its bound to be good.

May can be a difficult month for people, I think. But I know how much people appreciated your efforts - and you did make some awesome BAGOs. (ok, I only went to the first, and its the only one I've been to, but I'm sure its up there on the awesome scale!)

Hi Rob, yes, it makes a big difference! I remember people telling me "they won't be little forever" and that it would get less demanding. I couldn't see it at the time. But its true. Actually I'm starting to feel like a bit of a whiner for posting I think I have blocked out the memories of how truly difficult it was when the grief was raw and the kids were very little.

Momtokam -good luck on your vacation - I hope it turns out awesome!!!

"It just doesn't flatten me anymore. Probably not you either but it wearisome " Nice to hear from you Annie. I think wearisome sums it up. Its hard not to beat myself up for feeling things that I think should be over and done with!

Heading out for spring break with my 3 kids. They are super excited. I should be. But I seem to be more stressed and sad. 8 years and I still dread the "only parent" role. I am lucky to have lovely kids who will be great on this trip, and to be able to afford to go on the trip at all. But its so not what I want. I crave normalcy, which unfortunately for me means a 2 parent family (and no idea how to overcome that). And I want to enjoy myself. Why does that seem so difficult? Shouldn't making my kids happy make me happy? Does anyone else struggle after so long? OR do you take it in stride?

ROB - you forgot the May Ft Collins Bago! Is there going to be one this year? (btw its L. from north of the border in case you don't recognize my ID)