Dear all,
I've been coming to this forum from time to time now, reading messages, finding support in the shared experiences.
Today is the first day I will write a post myself, 5 months after the sudden death of my 36 years old husband, my first love ... my companion, the father of our two children .... Life is difficult (reading Dr. Scott Peck's book 'The Road Less Traveled' now, my husband's favorite book) and life is complex. My husband and I were connected through love, but pain was also an important part of our daily life. A chronic depression and difficult childhood made life a challenge for my husband ... I tried coping through a co-dependency mechanism. So much easier to discern these patterns now, now that everything has so abruptly stopped. Individual therapy, couples therapy ... we were trying so hard to be happier with the 4 of us ... accepting the end of these efforts is very difficult.
Today would have been our 10 year wedding anniversary ... so today is difficult ... more than I imagined ... the pain is hard, but I also feel that going through this pain and 'surviving' this day is a healing experience ... it's necessary ....
Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences and for the anonymous support ... so valuable at this moment,
Take care,
Anna.
