MegK

Thanks for this post! its really comforting to know that there is others that knows how one feels!

To laugh at one of his jokes and to have just one more hug!

Hi , I have read through the posts and just wanted to say I am sorry for your losses. I lost my husband 5.5 months ago. A few weeks after his death I lost my father too so for me I hit the 5 months freak out at 3 months. I literally just couldn't function anymore , something went off in me that had me crying more than I have cried since my husband died. My GP had to give me something just to calm myself. The last months I have gone through so many emotions. I now get by easier. I no longer feel like I am an observer. I am putting the pieces back together one day at a time.

Torn , Sorry to hear that your going through such a difficult time. I think by having your daughter and her husband staying with you  makes things more difficult for you.Sadly she chose to spend the rest of her life with this person. He has put strain on your relationship too. It would best that they find their own place before things are said or something gets done that you might regret.She could still help you from their new home. You shouldn't be alienated in your own home!

I am sending you lots of positive energy and a big hug!

I would just like to thank you all for your lovely messages! It literally had me in tears. It was comforting to hear that there are people out there that knows exactly what I am going through now. It made me feel that I fit in somewhere as I don't have that feeling with family and friends. I am so glad to have found widda !!  ♡

Hi Everyone ,

I have been looking for a forum where I can be in contact with people in similar situations. A place where people understand what your going through and where someone won't tell me '' your still young '' or ''  God has a plan '' where I don't have to explain why after 3 months it is so hard! I lost my husband in July to Cancer. We were married 3.8 years. I still remember that day as it was yesterday! My husband kept me in the dark with how severely ill he was. So the day the doctor told me that my husband won't make it through the night (Lung  Infection - antibiotics not helping , Immune system too weak )  my whole world fell apart. People honestly expect me to tell them whats so hard.... I lost my dad the same month. I loved my hubby more than life itself. The day he died it felt as if apart of me died too. He was my best friend and now I feel hollow. I moved continents to be with him. My reason for being here has left.

The last few months I have been  like an observer. Waking up  , Surviving and going back to bed.  :'( I have been so exhausted , unhappy at a low. Filled with Anxiety and Weekly Panic Attacks. Until I finally decided that I need help , and with medication I am functioning through my day. I feel embarrassed and so ashamed. I am socially awkward my friends are planning weddings and kids and here I am trying  to cope with grief and frantically trying not to forget the memories.

I meet new people who constantly ask what brought me here .....  when I say I was married they assume I am divorced and waits for an explanation. I expected one would get a little privacy , but the past months I have learned we as human beings are way too curious for our own good! Someone even said to me recently ... I still behave married. What the hell ?  yes I behave married cause in my heart I am still married.

I would really love to hear from others. I would appreciate any words of wisdom. Life has become hard! and would love tips on how to survive it!

Thanks

Meg