Baylee627

Timing is only a question you can answer. My beloved dog, Gordita, died not quite two years ago. Before that, I'd always maintained I wouldn't be able to pursue getting another dog til after my grief had subsided.

I'd presumed I'd need an adjustment period, as her death would likely annihilate me emotionally. I questioned whether my beleaguered heart would be ready to love another.

But: I ended up getting my dog Anabelle right around the time of Gordita's' demise...And while she in no way replaced Gordita, her lively antics and dog sugars did prove a balm for me after Gordita passed away.

Just as with our spouses, there's just no way to accurately predict what will help or won't until after the (sad) fact.

Baylee

Doing a happy dance for you, missy!

Baylee

Exceedingly sorrowful for you, Jen.

Baylee

You've made so many smart moves on your way to freedom. See it through.

And then continue to rebuild. You have a future ahead to get to, after all!

Baylee

Jess rocks, damn straight!

She went to CA and...And nailed it!

Baylee

1. It's my MIL's birthday this weekend----cake!!!

2. I get to see my nephews--mah babies!!

3. Might go see that new Meryl Streep movie this weekend.

Baylee

Yes. I can feel the tears back loading for days and the only way to release them at my convenience, and not caught unawares, is to play meaningful, melancholy music, and/or go clutch his clothes that still carry his scent.

I'd combust if I didn't do this semi-regularly.

Baylee

Take a few deep breath and try a whiskey sour. Sometimes, on occasions as these, there's nothing to do for days like this but hand it a cocktail and take a self-imposed time out!

A yi yi. I'm so sorry. This is a lot on your plate.

Baylee

Keep going.

Baylee

Gosh, I am so, so sorry, MS.

Baylee

I'm thinking Mr. Professorial has watched 50 Shades of Grey one time too many and needs a swift reality check. Um, you don't order a woman to report for a drink and she's all shits and giggles just to do so.

Just say no. Make that, hell no.

Baylee

My first thought is stop seeing Mr. Unavailable. He's a prescription for heartache. Brush him off of your shoulder, post - haste.

My second thought is to begin anew, and start seeing the one you termed a "possibility". It might be a balm to your wounded soul to spend time with a man who sees you as a catch, to be found worthwhile and desirable.

I get it. The post - widowed dating path is teeming with complexities. I know you don't need advice, really.  But really look at this. You've weathered enough torture...haven't you?

Baylee

Oddly, it was a true celebration of Joe's life that you commemorated it with family and with New Guy...it wasn't his choice to pass away, but it was your choice to muster courage to move forward under your own steam and keep living. And not just to live--but to flourish.

I think Joe's heart would have swelled with pride. His love paved the way for you to go forth when he couldn't.

That is legacy.

Baylee

Dear sweet heavens. Perhaps her intent was good, but...

#fail #damnthatsrough #dontmesswithjess

Baylee

You reserve the right to "like" any and all photos of DH. You also retain the right not to have to offer explanations for "liking" his pics. Why should you? It should be apparent to your FB friends you still love DH.

And you have a Chapter 2, but that doesn't mean you've relegated Chapter 1 to some dark, dusty recess of your mind. Your heart is big enough for both.

Now, *that's* love.

Baylee

I can't believe the audacity of that priest. How despicable is that, for the bereaving family to receive such a callous admonition at a funeral! By their priest, in whom trust is supposed to be inherent.

This made my tummy twist.

Baylee

Time for the Wid Posse to round up this young lad and express our discontent and impart to him lessons about not taking the walking wounded on shitty rides they aren't equipped to deal with.

Baylee

I swear I'm going to erupt in a maelstrom of curse words and bird-flippin' the next time someone admonishes me to "get hopeful," "move forward," or has the temerity to breezily advise me, "it's gonna get better."

These lil gems are usually spouted off flippantly or texted from a family member or friend who happens to be about to snuggle up and watch a movie with her husband, or is about to start dinner for her family (fully respirating hubby included).

Me: "I bet if we switched lives for a week I know who'd be begging for her life back first!"

Them: stuttering, backtracking, "uh, uh, well, I, uh, uh."

Me: "damn straight!"

Baylee

Where'd they go? Away!

Lol.

I lost most of my formerly close girlfriends after losing DH. Three of these friends I would have classified as closer than kinfolk. One of those three was my best friend.

The mass exodus embittered me enormously for months on end because I prize loyalty--both as the standard for myself, as well as others. Loyalty doesn't often equate to convenience. It's about being there alongside your friend even when it isn't.

My former best friend and I have mended fences, but I don't regard her as my BFF anymore. I am fond of her, but I'm a bit ambivalent or insouciant as to whether or not the friendship fizzles out again...meh. Too much has transpired, or maybe too much irreversible damage was incurred last year, I don't really know.

For me trust isn't a given, it's earned. Bottom line.

Baylee

Love this! And by the way, you've got gorgeous hair! (Not that that's the point, but it wouldn't be southern of me not to notice and compliment pretty tresses:)

Baylee

Ok, I just want to declare how awestruck I am by your courage and momentum.

That's all.

Baylee

Gah. Leftover pizza on the sofa in pajama pants and tee absent-mindedly watching a random Lifetime flick.

Doesn't get any sexier than that. It do not!

Baylee

Unexpectedly invited out to dinner tonight by my SIL. We took my two nephews to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, my "lil happy" isn't about the food;)

I had an excellent time of adult conversation with my SIL, and my nephews are the little lights of my life. I could seriously gobble them up they are so deliciously beautiful lil human beings. It startles me how overcome with the love I have for them.

Baylee

I'm so sorry, missy. Your siblings are being imperious and, honestly, mean-spirited. My suggestion is to speak up...they'll likely still be sour towards you, but at this very juncture, I think you should take up for yourself in your family, where--apparently--everyone besides you is an expert.

Concerning your dad: "YOU might feel it best I refrain from touching him and talking to him, but I feel differently about what is best, and that's not up for debate."

Concerning your weight: "This is too personal, don't you agree," preferably stated whilst exiting the room.

I'm terribly sorry about your dad. You do for him what you feel in your heart is right. Ignore the bullies.

Baylee

My father's family is chock full of addicts, both drug and alcohol. Seriously, just try and keep a straight face at one of their Christmases when everyone refers to one of my uncles or cousins "not being able to make it, as he or she's away".

Away, if Camp 12 -Step is "away".

(This is usually idly brought up right about the time the wet bar is set and aperitifs are being served. All without sense of irony).

Any-hoo-how, all this to say that you well know addicts can be unpredictable when not sober, and so it's not unimaginable that the treasured heirlooms and personal effects of your mom's might find their way into the wrong hands. I really like the idea of approaching your dad when you have his attention and telling him you are ready to have Mom's things. Simply put and direct I think best suits the situation.

Please let us know how it goes. These aren't easy topics to broach!

Baylee