MikeB

Thank you so much to everyone who replied. It gave me enough encouragement to make it through yesterday. The visitation was a whirlwind and I felt like I was in a dream the entire time. I don't know what to do with myself now. I'm paralyzed by the mountain of things I need to tackle at this point and just missing her unbearably. I put her ashes and jewelry on the mantel this morning and had a long cry. It scares me that this is the sum of my life now.

I lost my beautiful wife and best friend ten days ago to a ruptured brain aneurysm. She was just sitting at her desk at work and suddenly collapsed. There was no prior warning, and even though EMS, the ER and ICU tried valiantly, there was no possibility of saving her. Today is the visitation and I don't want to go. I can't face her friends, I can't face her family and I can't face her coworkers. I know I have to, but I've never not wanted to do something so badly in my life. My own friends and family have been wonderful, but I know that once this visitation takes place, they're all going to move on with their lives. I won't be able to. It will just be me, her ashes and our two dogs, alone. I miss her so much.