I was first widowed October 23, 2009, after five years of marriage. We'd had custody of his daughter, and her mother took her from me two weeks after his death. It was a very devastating double loss.
Two years after he died, I rediscovered an old high school friend, and found a love even sweeter and deeper than my first love, which I thought was immense. I never knew I could be loved so unconditionally, so deeply, and so well. Friends tell me now that whenever I wasn't looking, he never took his eyes off me. He told me he thought he'd loved me all his life.
On December 26th, just two and a half months after his initial cancer diagnosis, I lost the best part of me. I'm still numb. I'm still in shock. I'm staying with my parents because I'm afraid to go home.
I'm 41 years old, and I've been widowed twice, and I have no idea what to do.
