MontrealV

I wasted no time. right after Shiva, I memorialized my husband's page and then I changed my status to Widow. It's not like I'm trolling for dates but I just couldnt stand seeing 'married to' on there.

I long for the day anyone offers to do anything for me. I've been everything to everyone for so long, nobody has gone anything for me in YEARS

when I married my husband I knew he had Cystic Fibrosis, and I knew what I was getting into. 3 years ago he go a lung transplant and I thought finally, he can start being a real husband. Then I got stage 3 breast cancer and the reality hit me: he doens't know how to take care of me. I took care of myself for 18 months of treatment. The day I came home from my double mastectomy, he went in with a severe pneumonia, so I was home alone with 2 kids, with my arms pinned to my sides. Last January 4th, he went back into the hospital, where he lived for one full calendar year. I visited EVERY single day, I changed diapers, I dealt with every fluid known to man. he died on January 3rd, after being in the ICU for 4 months. I'm a mess. A new widow, but been alone so so so long....

my husband died on January 3rd. he had been in the hospital for a full year (since Jan 4 of last year ) and in ICU for 4 months. I have two kids (who happen to be adopted from China), 10 and 12. We had lots of time to 'prepare' but the truth is, nothing prepared us for this. I don't know where my head is at. On the one hand I've been a widow for 3 weeks, on the other hand, I've been alone for one year. I'm such a mess. Putting pants on is hard.