Kenneth

It has been 10 weeks today. While I don't break down and cry quite as much now and I started to eat a bit more (lost 45+ pounds so far) I'm still in disbelief and shock. I keep fantasizing she will have returned to me every time on my way home but she's never there...with the lack of support I have tried to join up with 3 different young widower support groups but they were all cancelled due to lack of participants so not sure what else to do. I'm still waiting for the "stone" to be finished, I'm not doing anything until that is all set. I'm glad to see so many people caring here, a little light in the otherwise permanent darkness. Still feel completely lost. Kenneth

I also wish I could believe that things will get better, it's impossible for me to see how that could be. But then I see so many of you have done it so maybe there is a way, I just can't see it. If it weren't for my 2 dogs I would go straight to bed after work and not get up until it was time to go back to work again. Loosing ones soulmate is like loosing yourself.

To once again being able to gaze into her beautiful blue eyes declaring our love for each other and like so many times before declaring our unbreakable bond to never be apart......

Thank you so much for all the kind words everyone How do or did you handle the loneliness? I am so lonely without her and it's hurting so bad I don't know what to do, it is especially bad on the day of the week she passed. She was my only friend and that was all I needed as we did everything together. Kenneth

Thank you so much to everyone that replied. I'm am so sorry for your loss as well, no one should have to go through anything like this, ever! When I do go to the grocery store my basket looks as pathetic as I feel, pretty much just bananas and tissues. I think it's a really good advice to try to keep busy with something you like. My wife and I had so many interests and passions but we did them all together and it's too painful for me to even consider any of them without her. Even reading we did together, laying in bed each reading a book, it was so cozy. I was never one to watch much TV, now I haven't even turned it on for over 5 weeks. I have been told I should start taking anti depressants, but I don't know, I never was one for medecine either so I don't know how that would affect me. I had a few panic attacks which I barely managed to fight off going into this weekend, I'm afraid taking something would make my mind less effective regain control over myself. Or would it get better? Kenneth

@Maureen and SoVerySad. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my "outcry for help" when I had my wife by my side I think I could have gone through anything. With my soulmate now gone and the feeling of being all alone I dont know how. I am so lost. Eating I can barely do and drinking I have to remind myself to. As a grown man I didn't think I could cry this much. It's embarrassing but I have lost control, I just break down, while at home, work, the few times at the grocery store. Kenneth

My wife passed away 5 weeks ago today. We were married for 15 and 1/2 years of which she was fighting a rare cancer for the last 4 years. Despite countless struggles and hardships she was constantly bouncing back, a little bit weaker every time. We always thought she would pull through in the end.... She was so full of life, she was a ray of light that lit up every place she went. We loved each other more than anything in this world. She was my best friend and in fact my only friend. We spent every minute of everyday together, always together except while at work. From the moment we first met and hugged each other we knew we were meant for each other. We never had a fight, we had an unbreakable bond of trust, love and friendship. She was my entire life, I depended on her for everything and with her gone I am completely heartbroken and lost. The pain and loneliness without her is more than I can bear. I would have given my life for her so she may live, she was such an amazing person in every way possible. The only thing that kept me going so far is my pursuit of finding a headstone worthy of her which I'm still working on and trying to setup so that our 2 golden retrievers will be taken cared if I no longer can. I feel that I'm getting a little bit weaker for every passing day.. I have been told I need to reach out to support groups which is not an easy thing for me. I'm not sure how I found this place or why but here I am laying bare my pain. Kenneth