ScienceFan

You could be in shock. Everyone is different because of their personality type and their life circumstances. I was in shock for about 4-5 weeks. I couldn't trust myself to drive (I turned the wrong way on a one way street) but I was functioning. I did what I had to do, made the decisions I had to make. I burst into tears 6 times a day for 3 months. I couldn't stand in front of the stove and cook for 6 months. I call it my "deer in the headlights" phase. As you read more posts, you will see grief isn't as cut and dried as people make it sound. For some widows, the first year is the hardest and for some, it's the second year. *hugs* So sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly too.

:'( I am so terribly sorry. You have just described the very thing I am terrified of experiencing. I am so sorry you had such an experience. I understand what you mean about wondering if you will be able to trust again. Trust takes a while to develop again, but it can happen. *sending hugs*

The sights on the Mall should keep you busy for a couple of days, at least! I love the Natural History Museum, the National Gallery of Art and the Air & Space Museum on the Mall. You have to make an extra effort to get over to the Jefferson Memorial... don't miss it. I agree about seeing the Zoo... that's almost a whole day all by itself. The Washington National Cathedral is only 1 mile from the Zoo. The National Arboretum is worth seeing... they have some bonsai trees that are centuries old! DC has a Madame Tussauds Wax Museum - I would NOT miss that! And it's near Chinatown - a great place for lunch! Have fun!

I have a hard time throwing away things like that, too. I read an idea once to take photos of things you want to throw away because the photos take up less space. I do it sometimes. I still have my stuffed animal collection from when I was a kid, but when I have to move, I will take photos first, then discard the toys. I think it's a great idea to have her best friend or your sister sit with you. They might even be able to offer insight. One 'rule' I used when I was discarding my late husband's things... if I had an emotional reaction to the item, I kept it, if I didn't, I let it go. I haven't cleared out his sock drawer yet... it's almost been 9 years.

I joined the old YWBB forum 6.5 years ago. (same username) They helped me make it through the times when I had no one else to talk to... there was always someone available there to share with and to empathize.

I'm glad I have encouraged you. <3

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 50. He was my provider and protector, my knight in shining armor. My whole life came crashing down. Everything changed. I was in shock for the first 5 weeks - like a deer in the headlights; I couldn't trust myself to drive! For the first 3 months, I burst into tears 6 times a day. It took 6 months before I had the mental ability to stand at the stove and prepare a meal. The first year was the hardest... all the "firsts" without him. It was 3.5 years before I felt like I had the emotional energy to organize my calendar and make appointments and hire people to do work around the house. It was 6.5 years before I finally embraced the idea of being single. In the previous few years, about 5 weeks before the anniversary of my husband's death approached, I would begin thinking about him more often. I would think about the night he died more often and I would spiral down into sadness and depression... for half the month of March and most of April until the 21st of April. I am really proud of my healing so far because this year, I did not do that. I really only had trouble the week before the anniversary and today has not been too painful at all. I've been treating myself with a little extra TLC this week and I took a vacation day today and went to the ocean and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine and had a nice lunch out. This last 12 months have been almost grief-free. I can think of my husband or talk about him without pain. I hope my experience encourages others here who have just started their grief journey and wonder if the pain will ever end.