sandrine2279

Fuck people complaining with false problems now that I experience the worst grief ever .... I can't hear pepole complaining for nothing For example, my best firend complained yesterday about her boyfriend not being able to drive to go on holiday next month.. come on!!!! my beloved bear was only 32 and we also planned more importants stuff than holidays. he wanted a baby. :'( :'( :'( :'( fuck fuck fuck this shitty life

Hello, I'm pretty lost with my job too. lost the love of my life three weeks ago and I can no longer be away of my office. to tell all of you every thing, I am a lawyer and we are only two in the office. it's still very difficult. I avoid talking to clients on the phone or taking appointemenst. Just try to make the written work wich is alreday a lot to do. But it's fucking hard to go on. I do break down very often during the day and got home so earlier than before cos all I want is to go and talk to my love before the cemetary is closed... How do you go trough this? thank you for your support. sandrine

Hello, I spoke very quickly of my first attemp at the "pshycotherapeute" in another message.... half an hour (quite expensive by the way) and at the end she fixed another apointment without even asking me what I wanted.... Honnestly, I wonder if she is really used to my kind of windowing ... she was waiting for very common answers and seemed a bit surprised by my answers (for example when I ty to go home, I either break into tears or just feel nothing because of the shock and no I don't have a ball in my stomach like he asked me, etc....). And she has been a little bit too rough with me I think. I explained her that I still don't accept to loose him (as I wrote he was 32 and never came back home, just went to see a friend and the day after I had to see my dear bear who was gone). So this women told me "but he'll never come back". is it the way she is supposed to help me accept the unthinkable? and as for the guily feeling I have, she didn't expect that I regret to be alive instade of him... anyway, when I said I was guilty, each time she just say "don't".... Maybe it's the way the conseling works or maybe I don't have a good feelingwcith her or maybe she's not good for my particular case? Can some of you tell me a little bite about their own counseling please? thank you sandrine

Hi everybody I suppose it is normal. I miss him so much, the pain is deeper and deeper. more tears. at any moment. nightmares every night. went to see him today. like every day, asked him to come back or to take me with him. yesterday one my collegue/friend got married.... when my beloved bear and I are separated this awful way. oh, life in unfair. can't stand it today. bye sandrine

thank You for your supportive answers. bad Dreams continue. .. Last night he was ill and il was seeking for a medicine since three days, grief is growing more and more How could it be différent since I can't be with him. ... Sandrine.

Hello everyone, I'm really thankfull for your kind answers. In fact, readind widda.org ans especially your messages soften a bit the grief for a short moment .. more than the psychotherapist I saw yesterday before I wrote my story there. probably she was not really used to young widowing. it seems she didn't expect I can be either in tears either empty with no feelings at all.... which I consider to be normal because of the circumstances, the shocking death ot my love, but it's also something making me feel so so guilty . and she did'nt help me about the guilty feelings except that I shouldn't feel so ..... she wasn''t prepared for me to telle her that durind the forst ten day my body could have eaten but my brain didn't wanted me to. she was probably not prepared that I feel guilty not to be dead instade of him.... I'll probably go on with the pain on my own.... which means without this king of person. I'd like to know how to deal with all these feelings..... thank you regards Sandrine

I'm new here. first, excuse me for the mistakes because I'm french. I've read a lot of messages here and I realized I didn't find the same place in french yet. finally, a few pepole widowed at a young age without children and I could'nt really find people living the same thing right now. My loved bear came and see me at my office at the end of the afternoon. went to see a friend and never came back. police told me he fell from a motorcycle as a passenger. in fact he had a heart attack ou a brain attack.... I 've waited for him for 34 years old and I lost him no I am almot 37. He was 32 . my tall and beautiful bear with a so big heart. we were just perfectly fine together and made projects that I don't want to realize without him. I still go and see him every day to ask him to come back also I never believed in god.. neither did he. . I just can go back to our house (I bought it myself two months before I met him). He had noticed me since four or maybe five years before I sent him a message via a forum kowing that the love of my life was somewhere close to me. we never leaved each other since then. how can life be so beautiful then so ugly?? pain is just awfull. regrets that I'm not dead instead of him are there too. really don't know how to handle this. and in fact I don't want to go out of this beacuase it would mean let him behind. I still don't accept it. Thank you for reading this. I needed to write it. Sandrine