First Wedding since death of husband

[HoldingOn]

My husband has been gone 2 years and a few weeks.

Went the first wedding since his death. It was a lovely wedding..thankfully a few of my family members are single or newly single so I was able to hang out with them...actually enjoyed myself.

 

But darn I forgot that they call all the married people onto the dance floor and then start weeding them out to find out who's been married the longest...as soon as I realized that was happening..I had to go into the bathroom to cry...ugh...kinda brought me down for the rest of the night.

 

Not sure the point of this post..but just wanted to be in a place for a bit where only you all would "get it".

[BrokenHeart2]

Must have been hard HO and totally understandable. I get it!  My first wedding will be Oct 31. My stepson is the best man, step daughter is a bridesmaid and crazy ex wife of DH will be there. Ugh, but I will go for 'our' kids.  Don't know how long I'll last after the dinner but I'll do my best for them.

We are widow strong!

[donswife]

oh that must have been heartbreaking, so sorry

I have never seen that done at a wedding (married people dancing . longest ..)

I went to the first wedding of my nephew a few months after don died and that was hard enough with out that

we did pass around a shot of whiskey in his honor at our table as a quiet way of saying he was there

 

 

[Catnip]

The first wedding I went to, with my son, did the same thing of getting all married couples on the dance floor. It was very uncomfortable, not only for me, but for my 20 year old son, and others at my table, who remained seated. Marital status was immediately discriminated against at that very moment.

It was nice to see that the bride's elderly grandparents had been married the longest. But didn't she know that already??

[MrsT85]

My first wedding was for one of Tim's cousins this past April, just 4 days past the two year anniversary of his accident.  I went as my MIL's "date" and thought it was very gracious and thoughtful of his cousin to include me.

 

I cried through the ceremony, and then got drunk.  Too drunk.  Way too drunk.  Enough so that I was actually quite embarrassed by it the next day and owed several people - my MIL chief amongst them - an apology. 

 

Luckily there was no "married people only" dance, or I'm sure I would have had to run out of there sobbing.  Overall, my MIL reported to me the next day (as I was not in any condition to remember) that the family members who knew I was Tim's widow had a sort of pitying understanding of why I got myself into the state I was in, and wrote it off as an "Oh, she just needs to do what she needs to do to have a good time" situation.  But it still left me feeling incredibly ashamed.

 

The only other wedding I've attended was a month or so after that - this past May.  Thankfully, I had learned my lesson by then and didn't try to deaden the hurt I felt throughout the ceremony with copious amounts of whiskey. 

[lcoxwell]

I haven't been to any weddings, where they start weeding people out to see who has been married the longest, but I have somewhat dealt with this in other settings. It always tears me apart, to know that I will never be a part of the couple, who can say they have been married longer than anyone else in the room. I will admit, that thought has brought me to tears, far more often than I would care to share.