Catnip

Did you say yes? Details please! Best wishes to you both! ~Catnip

I'm so very sorry to hear of his passing. Altho I never met him, I feel as though I've known him for many years. He was was huge part of the old web site, and this one as well. God bless you, friend. ~Catnip

I still wear both my engagement ring and wedding band on my left hand as always, right where he put them. It’s been 11 years for me. My wedding band is engraved with his initials to me. It's his gift to me. I guess it’s a tribute to our 26 year marriage. I feel safe with them on. At the funeral home, minutes before they closed the casket, the director asked me if I wanted his ring. I had never given it a thought. Before I could even respond, my three sons, ages 17, 20 and 22 all said “NO! You gave it to him and it’s his.” So I said, “Then I want to be buried with mine.” So he was buried with his wedding ring and I continue to wear mine. I don’t see the difference of moving them to my right hand. Some countries have the right hand as the traditional way to wear them. Rather, I have added a widow ring to my rings. It’s a black band that looks like an anniversary ring. I found it on line at www.expressionsofgrief.com.

Blessings to you both!

Hi Maureen, So good to hear from you. Hope you are enjoying higher ed. I'm in the third week of the semester here. It's so busy. It's been 11 years for me. I'm still at the same job and in the same house. But my dreams have changed. Last night I dreamed about my husband. We were both in the garage with one son. My husband kissed me, a nice long kiss, until my son interrupted us telling us to cut it out! So we all went back into the house where I thanked my husband for coming to me and kissing me, knowing that he's dead and going away again. So even in my dreams I know he's gone. It's finally sunk in. Keep in touch, ~Catnip

Good for you! Good to hear from you. How's Florida these days as I am buried in snow once again here in Upstate NY? ~Catnip

Good for you! Finally! Welcome to higher ed. Just remember, some days it's not too high. But you know this already. Let the fun begin! ~Catnip

Maureen, I wish you peace. It is still so hard, isn't it? It's now been 11 years for me and I still feel the pain. It's because my husband is still dead. Didn't you say, for your first love, that expecting death is one thing but being gone is quite another thing to deal with. For Christmas I received a bracelet with a heart charm that reads "Half my heart is in heaven." How true that is, and will always be. Hugs to you, ~Catnip

My husband loved, loved, loved his job. He lived and breathed computers. He worked all day at it and then would come home and be on our computer at night. I would have to talk to the back of his head if I wanted to talk to him! Ironically, the cemetery is right next to his office building!! The cemetery is this beautiful, lush acre upon acre of green rolling hills, and if you go to the top of a hill you can see thru the trees to his office building. I think he's comfortable there.

Hi Mike, It's been 10 years for me, almost 11. Yes, those moments are fewer but boy they still happen and sometimes with a vengeance, so yes, I understand. I read here a lot, but don't post as much anymore. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I'm still here. It's been so long and I am no longer a "young" widow. Not much has changed for me; the same job, same house, same kids. I've just become more independent, without hardly even noticing. I still miss him terribly, think of him all the time, but I guess I'm getting used to it (I keep telling myself). Nice to hear from you! ~Catnip

Yes, it happens to me quite frequently. I have 3 sons. They all look like their Dad, especially my youngest. My youngest looks the most like him and really has the same personality. There is something about him when he talks and the expressions on his face remind me so much of my husband. And then he sits at my table for dinner with his one hand on his lap, just like my husband always did. My youngest is 28 years old now and has moved out of the house. I married my husband when he was 25, so he often brings me back in time. I enjoy it because it carries on my husband's legacy. Peace, ~Catnip

Welcome home! ~Catnip

What a busy time for you. Congratulations on finishing your degree! ~Catnip

Now and Forever -Carole King Now and forever, you are a part of me And the memory cuts like a knife Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight When you walked into my life Now and forever, I'll remember All the promises still unbroken And think about all the words between us That never needed to be spoken We had a moment, just one moment That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime We are the lucky ones Some people never get to do all we got to do Now and forever, I will always think of you Didn't we come together, didn't we live together Didn't we cry together Didn't we play together, didn't we love together And together we lit up the world I miss the tears, I miss the laughter I miss the day we met and all that followed after Sometimes I wish I could always be with you The way we used to do Now and forever, I will always think of you Now and forever, I will always be with you

Me again. So I'm back to work and talk here is about the snow storm. And don't ya know a conversation I had with a professor was that her husband was out of town and she had to make do by herself in the storm. Yeah, my husband is out of town, too. But my husband is not coming back. Ever. It still stung, even after 10 years.

It was just 10 years for me back in December. I guess I'm OK, too. Ten years is a very long time. My life with my husband was a lifetime ago. My kids are grown, altho 2 still live at home. I have the same job and the same house. My life is going along. I'm just waiting to retire in a few more years. But I do not have plans for my golden years. Come what may. I did date for a little bit; a very nice widower. He treated me like a queen, but he got very serious very quickly and I just wasn't that into him. I called it off. Guess I'm just not into this dating thing. I've been doing alright by myself for these 10 years. Recoupling is not a priority anymore. Peace to you, Euf, ~Catnip

Upstate NY here with 17 inches. It came in a blizzard -very heavy, drifting snow. I work at a college in Albany and we just had two days off! Very unusual for the college to close since most of the students live on campus, but the faculty and me, staff, have to travel. Thank goodness my oldest son was able to use my snow blower and he had to do it twice for my driveway. I'm just back to work today, and the parking is awful, even in my employee lot. The snowbanks are so high! When is Spring??

He knows and he understands. He is with you, I'm sure!! Peace, ~Catnip

Yes. It's been 10 years for me. But you know what? One day we WILL be together again. I strongly believe that we will see all our loved ones once again. For me, I have trouble understanding why it was him that died and not me! I'm nearly not good enough to do all the stuff he did. I cannot take care of the cars, the house, nor do I make nearly as much money as he did. Plus, we have 3 sons. He could so much deal with them better than me. But I'm doing it all, 'cuz I have to. Peace to you, ~Catnip

Peace to you Maureen, Love, ~Catnip

Hi Maureen, Stupid reindeer, why wasn't he home resting after his long night of helping Santa?? And I thought the Christmas season was all about snow, not tornados. What's going on with the universe these days? Glad you are ok!! ~Catnip

Merry Christmas to all. Wish I was on a boat in a warm place. Rather, I'm here in Upstate NY where it's currently raining outside. I've cooked and cleaned and I'm just about ready for company tomorrow. My brother, cousin, my 3 sons, a dog and my cat will be enjoying my ham dinner, I hope. Church tonight. It was just 10 years for me. Can you believe it? My husband passed away December 17, 2006. It seems like yesterday, yet oh so long ago. I still have trouble wrapping my head around the idea that Christmas is the birth of Christ not the death of my husband. Blessings to all, ~Catnip

It's almost 10 years for me. I look at pictures and get that feeling. In one picture he has his arm around me, it's on my shoulder. He was standing right next to me! In another picture, I'm sitting next to him with my hand on his leg, holding my coffee cup. I was right there next to him, there's proof! It is surreal that he was actually here at one time, oh so long ago.

I'm a NY Yankee fan, but I'm still interested in the Series. Guess I should at least root for the American League team - the Indians! Enjoy the games!!

I'm so sorry. If only, the couldas and shouldas we go through are so painful. Just remember that we did the best we could at the time. My husband died from pulmonary embolisms, blood clots in both lungs. He was first diagnosed with pneumonia and was put on an antibiotic. He got better, returned for his checkup, and was told he still had one "spot" on his lung so he was put on the antibiotic again. Apparently blood clots were mentioned, but my husband said it was not, that another dose of antibiotics would be enough. If only I had insisted he go for further tests, but he was 51 years old and I knew better than to argue with him. A few days later he woke up, couldn't breathe, and begged for oxygen. I called 911 at 7:40am that Sunday and he died at 10:00 that morning. The diagnosis? Blood clots in both lungs. They did the CAT scan there so my husband knew his diagnosis before he died. Guess he was surprised too. I, too, was in the room while they gave him chest compressions and pronounced him gone. My sons were not in the room then, they were 17, 20 and 22 years old. This was almost 10 years ago. He died on a Sunday, the wake was Wednesday, Thursday was the funeral and Monday was Christmas, 2006. I still have a hard time with Christmas being the birth of Christ not the death of my husband. Somehow, time has softened the pain. How was your husband honored at Yankee Stadium? I am a Yankee fan and I went to 3 games there this past summer. We live in the Albany area, so my brother and I drove to Poughkeepsie and took the Metro Train North right to the Stadium. My brother is the true fan who goes more often than me. Peace to you on your journey ahead. ~Catnip