I ALMOST Know - Your Dreams WILL Come True

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

Many years ago, in the other forum, I posted about what I thought real love really is, and by real love, I mean couple love, which is not necessarily real love, but this is how I saw it at the time.

 

I stated that to be loved is to be known. If someone really loves you, they will really know you. Really really know you.

 

Then I flitted off to my other compensatory interests, fully confident that I would never be loved in that way, but secretly longing to be loved in that way - but not doing anything about this secret longing. Really denying it more than anything.

 

Well, I am here to encourage everyone to take a look at their secret longings, because I believe that no matter what you do or do not do, it will be that secret longing that will come true for you.

 

It came true for me. I did nothing to encourage it to happen. Nothing except secretly nurse the secret longing. I am known. I am loved in that way. I will not go that way. I do not want to live this dream and I will not live this dream. But it came true never the less and now I know - we really need to pay attention to the longings we stuff into the dark corners of denial because no matter what we do, that will be the thing that materializes.

 

When it materializes, it really shows you who you are. I am still processing that. You can imagine I am not all that thrilled, but at the same time I know that it is because of this that it is very likely that I am now in a position to want and to find a love that is gentle and true. Maybe not so much with the knowing.

[lcoxwell]

I just want you to know that I love your definition of what true love is. I also agree that we should pay attention to those deep down, often buried, secret longings. Whether we take an active part in going after those dreams, or not, it is important to acknowledge them, because otherwise, we are denying who we really are and what we really need to be happy.

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

Yes, or release it if you know that it's not good for you. I think that's what makes taking this super hard look at myself so worth it, as awful as it has been. Because I could then say "no" and truly let it all go to make room for something else.

 

I guess I still think that to be truly loved is to be truly known. But things like respect have to come with that knowledge. Truth, gentleness, judicious use of knowledge - that completes the love picture for me.

 

On the flip side there was a book written by a Jungian Analyst - a Canadian who resided in Toronto, I don't remember her name. The book was entitled "Addiction to Perfection - The Still Unravished Bride. Well, that would not be me.  At least I am not going to my grave a virgin in any sense of the world, so at least in the eyes of psychoanalysis, I fulfilled my feminine destiny.