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[Guest TheOtherHalf]

It feels like there's a conspiracy to get me married. I just wonder who this mythical groom is, and just how the plan to get me down the isle is going to work? Or do I even have to be present anymore? What if someone marries you without you knowing about it? How much would that suck?

 

These constant photos and ads seem to be saying "We're going to get you. It's just a matter of time."

 

I guess I'm really struggling trying to understand why a single woman is such a threat and not to be tolerated?

 

Is there a gay guy out there who will marry me to get everyone off my back? Then he can go on being gay, and I can go on being happy.

[Quixote]

It's not just women. After about thirty, single guys get the "So when are you going to meet the right girl?" treatment. I'll confess to being guilty of this when my wife was alive-- we were amazingly happy together, and would set friends up. It was never less than awkward. Now I'm the recipient of same attitude. Karma is such a girl dog.

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

Boy seeing photos of departed spouses really drives this home in a painful way to this very day, 11 years out. I see that beautiful woman playing the flute - never even knew her, yet my eyes are stinging with tears, because she is no longer here, and that's why you're here. Condolences.

 

Do you think a single guy is a threat? If so, why?

 

For me it's nothing so benevolent as well meaning friends trying to hook me up. I feel like I will be murdered if I don't conform, and what I'm experiencing might even be worse than death in a lot of ways. This living under constant scrutiny, judgement, harassment has pushed me to the outer limit of my limits.

 

I'm really needing and hoping for some discussion on this topic and maybe some affirmation that I am a human being and not a thing.

[Quixote]

Other, you're right. I'm not under the pressure you are if it's pushing you that hard. Mostly for me, it's that huge feeling of not fitting in and others wanting me to. It hurts because I want more than anything to return to what I-- we-- were. But I can't.

 

That's not your situation. It sounds to me like you feel the world is rejecting who you are now. I don't know what to say to that other than you are a precious person. You live, you breathe, and yes, you suffer with grief. The unique you is worth more than any number of taffeta coated fantasies of wedded bliss. And that's something, isn't it?

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

The taffeta coated fantasy, that's exactly what it looks like to me. I'm too old for that. I really need to hear what you said. It is humanizing.

[Guest TheOtherHalf]

These are starting to get funny. Almost without fail, the first story I am greeted with when I sign onto yahoo is a wedding story. Today, I dart out of here and over to yahoo to be greeted by an image of Mary Kate Olsen donning sunglasses over the caption that read: Mary Kay Olsen Had Bowls of Cigarettes at Her Wedding.

 

I think I'll just add the new captions as they come.