Tired and Alone

[pms1954]

I'm just so tired. I've had issues with my daughter lately. She says she trying to see if she can save her marriage. I'm not opposed to her doing that. Problem is she just assumed I'd be against it, so she sneaks around, lies to me, uses my car to go see him, etc. That pisses me off. Then I'm the 'bad guy'. So I'm backing off from her. She absolutely needs to make her own decisions, especially who she spends her life with. I'm tired of being the bad guy in these issues.

 

It's like I have to beg her to text me, she avoids talking to me.

 

I cant talk about Jim to anyone. I miss him all the time, but when I bring him up both kids get "that look" on their face, and I know to drop it. My ex daughter in law sent me a message at Thanksgiving telling me to not talk to his granddaughters about him anymore. That its too painful for them, and they avoid talking to me because of it. Jim's son, their Dad, broke off contact with me after about a year and 1/2.

 

So the one person I could talk to about all this isn't here, and I cant talk about him to anyone either.

 

I'm tired of this struggle, the loneliness, and having to deal with this crap alone.

[anniegirl]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now.

 

I wish I had some suggestions but there's not much you can do about how other people are behaving (and for what it's worth, I think they are being quite insensitive).

 

I always found writing to be a good outlet for things when I had no one to listen to me. Perhaps there is an outlet you could explore?

 

It sucks that people who are important to us just don't understand. You do what you need to for you.

[SoVerySad]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now. My kids haven't started dating yet, so I have no experience in that area. Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience in people in my life not wanting me to talk about my husband. My kids and I still talk about him a lot, but I'm even starting to notice they may not always enjoy it now. My MIL does enjoy talking about him. She says it makes her feel really good that I still remember and love him so much. She said my recalling stories to her reminds her what a full and happy life he lived. I don't know what I'd do without her. But everyone else in my family has made it clear that it makes them too uncomfortable and they feel I should be "moving on" more.

 

I know it is so hard to not have our spouses here as a listening ear and soft place to fall. It seems the cruelest element of widowhood.

 

Would you like to tell me a little about Jim?

[donswife]

So sorry your having a tough time with your daughter

especially hard when the one person who you want/need isnt there

wish I could make it easier

like soverysad said we would love to hear about your Jim anytime