Reflections about online dating

[arneal]

I was thinking back to my first online dating experience. I got caught up in the rhetoric and fell in with a scam artist. He didn't ask for money but I will say that he would try to get me to join him on video chat. I didn't know anything about the various chat things until him, so I am grateful to have learned something new. I downloaded one program to my phone to chat with him; in hindsight, I find it interesting that his profile on the chat program did not have a photo. I never got on video chat but did send some photos. Nothing particularly risque but a bit more revealing than I would have if in my right mind lol. I moved on quickly once I figured out his weirdness. The whole thing lasted maybe a couple months and involved texting and phone calls. I was considering visiting him but thanks to slim finances, wasn't able to really execute a plan.

 

Fast forward to my next online dating experience. By this time I had figured out that I wanted to connect with someone who I could meet face-to-face. I met NG on Memorial Day weekend and we have developed a connection over the ensuing six months or so. We both work quite a bit and typically spend some part of our weekends together and communicate on social media during the week (you'd think we were teenagers or something lol). Texting is reserved for making or confirming plans. I am hoping we'll build some sort of future.

 

I share this little reflection to encourage those of you who are either considering online dating or might want something of a success story from someone who is new to it; I was with my first husband for bout nine years and with my second for 16; I jumped on the dating scene at 47 years old after spending more than half of that in relationships.

 

Online dating can be exhausting -- while my profiles were up, I kicked a few guys to the curb quickly for nonsense and got some 'thanks for your message but you aren't my type' from some. I didn't wait a year to start seeking new companionship after my LH died. This was my second time being widowed and he told me and our pastor at the time that he didn't want me to be alone. It was freeing. Having been widowed before gave me the experience to do what needed to be done when the time came and having been his caregiver for about a year straight, I had already mourned. I say that to those of you who are wondering about the 'wait a year before you date' thing. It's up to you. It's about your experience. And just because you feel ready doesn't mean that you are. And that's okay too. You can pull back or you can run with it.

 

Just take care of yourself. Be happy. Love life as best you can in ways that suit you.

 

Thanks, friends.