Perspective on death and life

[mona]

Don't you think that some of our suffering (I say SOME) is due to either our lack of perspective or our extreme intensity of perspective? Which is it? There are many ways to grieve, to feel sad, and many things that trigger that. Memories, scents, photos, places, THINGS. A side walk. (We walked down this side walk two years ago, one year ago, two months ago), we picked out that paint color together too, we, we, we,.... etc...What is the most painful thing here? Is it the narrowing of our daily narrative, ie reality? Our focus? Who actually does focus like this except for us, the grieving ones? What could I have done with this energy otherwise? The little energy that I have? The one who is streaming TV to numb the mind? The 60% that I have left to eat, sleep, survive? Also is it just me missing him or is there also fear the in knowing that I am now alone? AND with no children. Is it all of these things? Do I have hope? Oddly enough YES. And I'm not dead yet. Isn't this odd?

[James]

This raises the question, intense perspective on what?  Love.

 

Hope arises because you are alive, which implies choice, and thus opportunity.

 

I have always been very positive.  In a sense, I worship life.  I've met other people, fearful people, who appear to worship death.  A kind of nihilism.

[Julester3]

I choose life obviously but I have kids, family and friends to live for. The hardest thing is the loneliness. LH and I were constant companions whenever we had time to ourselves not working or chasing kids. I don't focus on much else. There's reminders of him everywhere in the house, in the cars, on our DVR and Pandora but we choose to embrace these things because it keeps him with us in spirit. I am at 1 year and my energy could still be better but I am doing things with the kids, I work, I can keep house, appointments, and bills straight, and I still make sure to carve out some time for me for my own mental health. I pick and choose my battles and I let things go more if I feel it's best and I don't punish myself for it. I clean less, I cook less, that sort of thing. If I keep myself busy, I'm as good as distracted for a good amount of time and I can for a short moment forget the sadness. I am fortunate that I am surrounded by people who don't mind that I still talk of LH like he's still around.