My son summed it up well

[Sugarbell]

My 12 year old is quite the maintenance/handy man at our house. In fact...he's better at fixing stuff than many adult men.

 

I have been dating new guy friend for 6 months. We are exclusive-he gets me..I get him...we are both busy and independent-he lives an hour away...Neither of us have any desire to move/uproot ourselves...We like our lives.

 

Everyone including demanding daughter is happy. She now likes him...because he doesn't cramp her world.

 

So....my son was helping me get stuff out of the attic and he says "Yeah Mom...I have six more years at home before I leave for college-Then you may have to find yourself a husband to help you out with all this stuff"

 

He nailed it. My world feels connected and together-but he helps with traditional male things. And I am his Mom...so I am still in charge. I really think without my oldest son (not meaning to sound weird) I would feel more of a need for a house partner.

 

So I am enjoying have a lover..an exclusive friend who I care a lot about. But have no desire to totally mesh worlds/lives....Not yet. The cool thing is...he's on the exact same page.

 

 

[robunknown]

That sounds perfect!

[ATJ]

Sugarbell,

 

As a childless widow, I am always drawn to those 'mother and child' posts. This one really touched my heart! Despite the significant struggles of being a widowed and only parent, you are most fortunate to have such a precocious and helpful son.

 

I once read a poem by an unknown author about "little boys" and saved it because it warmed my heart. I'm posting it below, even as your son is not quite so little anymore, but there are echoes.

 

 

"A little Boy"

 

An imp and an angel,

A dreamer, a tease

An explorer of meadows,

A climber of trees.

 

A runner of errands,

And Doer of chores,

Who tears his best trousers

And tracks up your floors.

 

A solemn young man

With mud on his feet,

And a daredevil riding his

Bike down the street.

 

A bundle of questions,

He wants to know why

The world goes around 

And the stars fill the sky.

 

But adventurous, timid,

Excited or quiet,

There's nothing so new 

That he won't care to try it.

 

And just when your temper

And Patience wear thin,

He'll look up at you

With an innocent grin.

 

And your heart melts again

With real pride and joy,

In that mischievous, wonderful

Treasure - Your little boy!

 

~~ Author unknown

 

 

 

 

Sending a BIG "High-Five" to your son through the ether!!

 

ATJ

[Sugarbell]

That is beautiful.

 

He's definitely been a blessing...but I can't take much credit for it. My younger two...I feel I have influenced..but not him. My middle son..he's taught me what it's like to raise a typical little boy. My daughter a girl.

 

My oldest was an adult by age 2....before he Dad died he was keeping things straight. I remember when I first lost DH...and had 3 tiny kids...thinking "I will be OK...I have D here"

 

D was only 4 1/2 at the time.

 

He's far from perfect...can be downright bossy. Raising a 60yr old man trapped in a little boys body has presented challenges.

 

But he's truly a gift....everyone in this house has always felt safer with him here.

[anniegirl]

I was that kind of a kid.

 

My mom depended on me for a lot. I never thought much about it. Don't know how much chicken/egg there was too it. Was I dependable because I was depended on or vice versa.

 

But, I was "old" and spent much of my young life waiting impatiently to catch up with myself.

[messageinabottle]

Awww.  My boys have been taking care of me more lately too as they get older.  They are so sweet.  I had a headache the other day and they were checking on me getting me a washcloth and helping out.  They have some maturity beyond their years.

 

[Guest Mel4072]

It is quite the process. And I feel Ya. I'm so grateful for the help I get. And I've learned to appreciate the help I get from my daughter. I may ask her to load the dishwasher and she doesn't do it. Ever. But when I'm doing homework and cooking dinner, she will step in so I can focus on my school work.