Transmissions from Hell, Pt. 2: The Second Level

[Michael797]

Submitted for your consideration, a cautionary tale that might well be subtitled ?What to expect during the second six months of widowhood,? provided in an attempt to help an uninitiated newbie sort of navigate their way around Hell. File this one under ?places to avoid? on your tour.

 

Veteran wids frequently advise that things get much worse before they get better; as it turns out, they?re correct. Is it possible to determine why this hellish little prophecy is accurate? Here?s one observation, based on personal experience.

 

The first six months of widowhood are little more than a blur of despair, confusion, and loss of any sort of direction. And therein lies a problem that leads to the situation getting worse; ultimately, whether you like it or not, you?re going to have to somehow invent or construct a completely different life from the one that got snatched away from you. But during the first six months, the likelihood that you?re going to have the presence of mind to prepare for any sort of future beyond your current agony is profoundly slim. You?re just not there in any capacity.

 

Meanwhile, everyone you ever thought cared about you is already distancing his/herself from you. Whether they?re uncomfortable with death or they simply don?t think you?re going to be any fun anymore, people are bailing out of your life in droves. Before very long, you could suddenly find yourself quite alone and isolated.

 

Now, six to nine months later, you?re suddenly waking up to realize that an immense hole currently occupies the place where the new life you were supposed to be building should?ve gone. You?re further likely to discover that no intervention, divine or otherwise, is going to drop out of the sky to provide you with any sort of miracle, and you?re alone in ways you couldn?t have seen even in your nightmares. Welcome to the Second Level of Hell ? you didn?t see it coming but you ended up there just the same.

 

Perhaps you find yourself scrambling to inject meaning into your life; you attempt to find company, someone to ?avoid the void? with. Good luck with that ? desperation emits a smell that repels people at light speed. The more desperate you become for contact with another human, the more likely you?ll wind up like The Omega Man. Life is peppered with cruel little jokes like this one.

 

Could this have been avoided? Possibly ? but if time travel existed, you?d probably choose to return to a time where you could prevent your lover?s passing away. But, of course, life doesn?t work that way; you?re still stuck with the check.

 

I currently find myself in a place where reinvention of my life is painfully slow-going, and the help desk is apparently closed until further notice. Please don?t let this happen to you; if you detested your job, begin looking for another one in spite of your grief. If you live in a hostile environment, plan to relocate as soon as you can. You can choose to future-proof your despair, or you can find yourself slowly sinking deeper into the abyss. Don?t leave the rest of your life up to a higher power that has no intention of showing up; the only thing you can truly rely on is what?s left of your free will.

 

[donswife]

I am around the 6 month mark and you are so right about everything

so odd to think I would prefer the auto pilot and fog of the beginning first months

but i miss the 'denial' part that seemed to shelter my heart

thanks for writing this

[Michael797]

so odd to think I would prefer the auto pilot and fog of the beginning first months

but i miss the 'denial' part that seemed to shelter my heart

 

Frighteningly well-put. Thank you for sharing, and sorry you can relate.

[Jen]

 

Meanwhile, everyone you ever thought cared about you is already distancing his/herself from you. Whether they?re uncomfortable with death or they simply don?t think you?re going to be any fun anymore, people are bailing out of your life in droves. Before very long, you could suddenly find yourself quite alone and isolated.

 

Now, six to nine months later, you?re suddenly waking up to realize that an immense hole currently occupies the place where the new life you were supposed to be building should?ve gone.

 

Got it in one. I've come to the conclusion that I'm nothing but a shell enclosing a black hole of emptiness and despair. I've tried to survive this hell; I've tried to help others survive it. I've failed miserably. I have nothing left to give.

 

Thanks for the timely dose of reality. As usual, you hit it as succinctly as a slap in the face.

[Michael797]

WARNING: The following post is a RANT. If you're heavy into Christianity, you DON'T WANT TO READ IT. If, however, you enjoy being offended, you'll LOVE the post. Regardless, you've been warned.

 

 

The following is a transcription of a recording made during a Monday morning meeting in God?s enormous board room. It was uncovered in the aftermath of a total destruction of the room.

 

Acolyte: ?morning, Your Highest of Highs.

 

God: (coughs) These Hofner cigars?ll kill me. (roars with laughter) So, what?cha got for me today?

 

Acolyte: Well, first there?s the whole Afghanistan thing?.

 

God: They?ve got plenty of guns, haven?t they? Let ?em kill each other ? I?ll sort ?em out later. (laughs) Free will?s a bitch, ain?t it?

 

Acolyte: Um, yes Sir. America, as always, has a lot going on. Any thoughts on the gay/lesbian issue?

 

God: Look, I could care less who loves who. But let?s keep it interesting ? are Huckabee and Santorum still doing their ?voice of God? routines?

 

Acolyte: Oh, yes ? they?re quite convinced that the voices in their heads are Yours.

 

God: You know, sometimes I feel a bit guilty about letting those false prophets think they speak for Me ? then again, long and hard is the way, eh? (chortles)

 

Acolyte: Good one, Your Most Supreme.

 

God: Keep ?em coming ? so far it?s a pretty light day.

 

Acolyte: Anything more to add on the meek and the poor?

 

God (getting angry): I already TOLD everyone ? they?ll inherit the earth. What?s left of it, anyway.

 

Acolyte: Anything you?d like to do for the widows? They?re pretty deep in despair.

 

God: There are already plenty of My books around; what?s wrong with letting them read until they join their spouses? It?s a big book ? should keep ?em all busy for a while.

 

Acolyte: What about this Michael797 guy?

 

God (screams): That piece of shit? I?d like to fucking?. (sounds of furniture being thrown about the room, walls being broken, antiques being smashed, etc.)

 

End of recording.

 

[Michael797]

Thanks for the timely dose of reality. As usual, you hit it as succinctly as a slap in the face.

 

Truly sorry about the slap; it was never my intention to hurt you.

[Jen]

 

Truly sorry about the slap; it was never my intention to hurt you.

 

Likewise. All I ever wanted was to try to help. Maybe it wasn't all wasted. You still have my gratitude, and my love, always.