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Everything posted by Lewis

  1. Lewis

    widda.org website

    Hello Everyone, Widda.org has been online for several years now and I am amazed at how many people have been helped through this website! It has been a couple of years since I have mentioned about donating to Widda.org to help keep the site free. At that time many people donated enough to give the website a nice upgrade and to help pay the hosting fees that lasted until now. If you desire to help pay the fees to keep the site free, now would be a good time to donate. I currently pay the bill monthly, but can get a better pricing if I pay in longer time frames. Any amount you donate is appreciated and will go toward the Widda.org website hosting and maintenance fees. Thank you for your support! If you choose to donate, you can donate here: DONATE Thank you for your help!! Lewis
  2. Lewis

    widda.org website

    Thanks for asking Christine. If you want to send via PayPal, you can send to my account at admin@widda.org. Let me know if you still have problems.
  3. It has been eight and a half years and I still vividly remember my last night with Kathy. It was a Monday night and we had stayed up until 10pm practicing a trumpet/piano duet for church, where we were scheduled to perform the next Sunday. Our music was echoing throughout the house and keeping the kids awake as they lay in bed. We were on our Christmas vacation so there was no need for an early bedtime. We practiced for a bit and then headed to bed happy that we were able to get a good practice completed. That night I remember Kathy rolling over in bed at exactly 2am and pressing her back up against mine with a feeling of love that I will never forget, as that was the last moment that I had with Kathy alive. At 6:30am I was in a state of sleep where my eyes were closed but I was aware of my surroundings. Kathy had made an exhaling noise that sounded exceptionally weird. I abruptly opened my eyes and tapped her arm just hard enough to see if she would respond, but not hard enough to wake her up. I just wanted to verify that nothing weird really happened. No response. I tapped a little harder but she still did not react. Then I pushed her to wake her up and it felt like I was pushing dead weight. Panic struck and I jumped out of bed so that I could see exactly what was happening! Immediately I noticed that her eyes had a glassy look to them and she definitely was not breathing. I grabbed the phone to call 911, then picked her up and placed her on the floor to begin CPR. It only took the ambulance 10 minutes to get to my house and the first responders continued CPR for over 30 minutes until Kathy’s heart began a soft beat on its own. At that point she was transferred to the hospital where she never gained consciousness and did not survive through the next day. I stumbled through life over the next few weeks feeling like I was a glass window, shattered by hurricane winds, and was being blown in every direction. Being left with five young kids forced me to keep the daily schedule mostly intact, but internally my heart was paralyzed from grief. I was referred to the previous young widow forum and I found a sense of comfort from my new club members. Night times became more tolerable as I read through posts and realized that I was grieving normally. Through this forum I have met many widow/ers, several of which became my lifeline while I was grieving the hardest. It is my hope and prayer that you find this forum as comforting and helpful as I did. Sincerely, Lewis
  4. Lewis

    Is there a members list?

    You can see the Members List by going to Activity > Search at the top menu, then select the 'Member Search' tab. If you leave the search field empty you will get a list of all users. Otherwise enter a Search Term and click the 'Search Members' button located below the search fields.
  5. Lewis

    Triggers in public

    Thinking back to those early days, I remember getting smacked by triggers while out in public. It was embarrassing to burst into tears in front of people and it happened more often than I care to remember. Living in a small town with a population of 1500 people, going to the grocery store was always scary. The question was not, “Would I see someone I knew?” But rather, “Who was I going to see this time?” My first encounter was about a week after Kathy died. I had made my purchase and was exiting the store when a familiar couple caught me at the door. All it took was for one of them to ask me how I was doing and the massive avalanche of tears began the uncontrollable tumble down my face. They did not know what to do and just scrambled along leaving me there with the tears flowing. I felt bad for them, me and the strangers that witnessed my meltdown. That was just the beginning of many awkward moments to come. Looking back, there were many people who had openly offered me help. It was almost always in the form of “just call if there is anything I can do” that seemed sincere but very noncommittal. The offers seemed generic at the time and I had no idea what help I needed. And as for shopping, I was physically able to go, but emotionally I was dead and buried with my late wife. In this case, I needed emotional help in the form of grocery shopping. Regardless the offers, I definitely did not have the mental energy to call anyone for help. All I could think was that we needed supplies and wondered how fast could I get in and out of the store before I had another embarrassing meltdown. I am happy to say that I survived the grocery store. I may have filled a few mop buckets with tears during those early visits, but I survived. Each visit made the next easier and before long the grocery store was not so scary. I hope that as you navigate through those early days, you find ways to ease the pain of public triggers. Do not forget those offers to help you. They can become quite helpful in your healing.
  6. Lewis

    What to do? Need career advice.

    I vote to go back to school and get a job you like. Good luck!
  7. Lewis

    Triggers in public

    Drafter, I remember so many times while driving, having to pull over because I could not see through the tears. I was glad to be alone at those moments so I could just let it out. I still have thoughts of her that run through my mind daily. I am doubtful that will ever go away... BrokenHeart2, the YWBB was definitely a lifesaver. Getting connected to widdabagos and meeting my widda friends was the medicine that I needed. I miss them even now ❤️
  8. Lewis

    Does anyone speak Mandarin?

    Not me. Sometimes I wonder if I even know English, doh! 😂
  9. Everything went as planned and the new design is up and running. I hope the advances in this new design will enhance the forum for each of you. Take a look around and let me know if you have questions. Also, check out the site on your mobile devices!
  10. Lewis

    Widowbago Forum

    I have opened the bago forum to public view. Thanks for all your input!
  11. I am excited to announce that we have a new design for Widda.com that will go live on May 1st! The new design will offer many new options with the best being mobile support. Your login will be the same username/password combo that you use now. There is a different look to the site but will contain all the same data you see now plus more available options. More updates to come…
  12. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    There is an edit option. You should see the EDIT link under your post. You have 30 minutes to edit it.
  13. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    I was able to extend the time to edit your posts to 30 minutes. Hope that helps!
  14. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    I'll check the settings.
  15. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    I agree Jeudi. This platform is much more advanced than the previous setup. I am impressed more as I see more of its options.
  16. Lewis

    New Widda website design coming

    Thanks for the reply Laura! I have been crazy busy and did not get a chance to check on this.
  17. Lewis

    Welcome to the New Widda Website Blog

    Hi Jeudi, I have created a discussion on how to create a blog!
  18. Part of the new website design enables everyone to have their own personal blog. There is just a few steps to create your blog. If you hover your mouse over the pencil icon in the top right of this website, you will see a popup that says "Create new content." If you click on the pencil icon you will see the options: Topic and Event. Now go to the Blog page by clicking Browse, then Blogs. Here you will see the option to "Create a blog." Click the "Create a blog" button to enter your blog information. Entering a blog name is required and you have the option to add a description. After you enter the info, click Continue. Next, go back and click the pencil icon at the top right of the website. Now you will see the additional option to create a "Blog Entry." Select "Blog Entry" to begin your first blog. You will need to add a title and content. Once you have entered a title and content, click "Submit Entry." Now go back to the Blogs page by clicking "Browse" then "Blogs." Now you will see your blog listed!
  19. Lewis

    Welcome to the New Widda Website Blog

    Thanks Jeudi! I will get info on how to work the blogs tomorrow. It's late and I am worn out tonight. ZZzzzz....
  20. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    Okay, Maureen, now it is fixed for real.
  21. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    Maureen, please check your email. It should be fixed now. To be anonymous you have to check the box when you login. See the attachment. Let me know what else needs to be corrected!
  22. Lewis

    The new website is up and running!

    I’ll get you fixed up Maureen. I just have to remember where those settings are
  23. REMINDER! The new website will be live tomorrow! The current site will be taken down late tonight around 11pm CST and I will enable the new site as fast as possible. I expect the new site to be live by 1am.
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