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RobFTC

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  • Date Widowed
    Nov. 7, 2010
  • Cause of death
    Ovarian cancer


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  1. RobFTC

    There are worse things than death

    I has looked over this thread until now. I am friends with this amazing woman on FB, and started seeing her posts about it; it took awhile for the magnitude of what had happened to sink in. I kinda wanted to let people here know, but thought I was not necessarily going to do it well or be known to very many people these days - thanks, Mike, you did it well. I see the faith, I see the cries of pain, and I can only imagine how it must be for them. Lots of prayers for all.
  2. RobFTC

    My very own Widow Island

    Happy belated 50th, Helen! Glad to hear good things from you! Three good things: 1. Family life (including my new wife) is great, even as we deal with the chaos of my 18-year-olds' upcoming graduation. 2. Spring is here, and I will be able to ride my bike again soon. 3. Music remains a source of meaning and fun in my life, and I am back on the radio on Sunday.
  3. Leadfeather, my new wife was married to a narcissist. I met her after she had done a whole lot of work, and so I met a self-confident, happy women and had no idea for the first while. She opened up to me about it, and I am grateful she found her way out of that marriage and rebuilt herself. There are still things that throw her back into some of those emotions. Her sister-in-law is in the early stages of divorcing and disconnecting from a narcissist, and it is difficult to watch him try to keep controlling her, and try to keep her isolated and dependent. I wish that this phenomenon was better-known in our culture; we are learning some things now.
  4. RobFTC

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Yes, you are reading it too literally, and it's not written really clearly. This is in the context of a middle phase, Phase 3, where a person could be really beaten up by a bad person. I think we get more resilient later on (I know I did). Rob T
  5. RobFTC

    New Relationships....Post a Pic

    Thanks, all - six months on Saturday, can't believe it. Lots is going well, but some kid challenges (both hers and mine) are what's showing me that she is a real keeper!
  6. RobFTC

    Teen daughter struggling

    HM, I feel you - my oldest twin has been tough for some time, but out 2019 has been a lot worse. She went too long without her antidepressant meds due to a perfect storm of mistakes and bad communications, and it's been weeks with regular days of missed school, periodic suicidal ideations, and her senior year is at risk. She's coming out of the dark tunnel as her meds kick in again after four weeks. Her sibling is happier, but is way behind in classwork as well. They have both applied for two colleges, which seems like a minor miracle at this point. All we can do is keep trying and to try new ideas as we think of them. Hugs, and I'm always up for swapping ideas and experiences on FB if that helps.
  7. RobFTC

    Sad Loss Of WifeLess

    Bluebird, I am so sorry for your loss of such a fine man. I had always hoped to meet him and you, as so many talked so well of you, and of course I knew of his amazing documents that captured what so many of us were only just figuring out about how we felt. Peace and strength to you.
  8. RobFTC

    New loss, old pain

    Trying, I am so sorry. I got an e-mail yesterday from a friend who's been close forever. We dated some across distance for awhile almost 30 years ago, and we've kept in contact as we both married and had kids. She's one of those friends where it's always easy to pick up where we left off, someone who always saw me clearly and liked me anyway :-) My new wife Kathy and I saw her and her husband at Christmas, as she was getting some stomach problems checked out. She has now been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It's so hard to not fear the worst, and to pray for a good outcome.
  9. Hi folks, I should chime in. I married my GF a bit over three months ago. She had never not been good to be with, whatever the situation, and getting together with her family last Christmas was so good I had a hard time not seeing her in my life. When she started asking what our future was, I felt all of the delaying tugs - wait another year and the kids would be (might be?) off to college, wait another three and I would maintain access to Michelle's social security benefits. But she was not at all inclined to "shack up", and that felt like it fit with who she was. I found my first marriage meant so much more than I had first expected that I wasn't sure that shacking up would work as I wanted it, either. And I also didn't feel like waiting for the calendar - I wanted to stop saying goodbye at the end of dates. If the financial thing mattered more, or if it felt like she was not coming from a genuine place regarding marriage, it would have felt different. I proposed near the end of June and we wed September 2, and I haven't looked back :-)
  10. RobFTC

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Congratulations, Leadfeather/Matthew! I'm glad you found your fit. I've been married for three months now. It's been great! Kathy is a heck of a woman to have in my corner. The dog and the cats have settled into a truce, we're making progress on the Too Much Stuff issue, and we have a fighting chance to get my kids off to post-secondary school. And we met on match.com, so good things can happen! Take care, Rob T
  11. RobFTC

    New Relationships....Post a Pic

    Yes, PaulZ - visiting the Cape during Celtic Colours is a bucket-list thing for me. I host a Celtic music radio show, and play all kinds of stuff from the east coast. I'm from Saskatchewan originally, and haven't been out to Canada's east coast yet.
  12. RobFTC

    New Relationships....Post a Pic

    Thanks folks! She's off to Greece and Italy with her daughter on a trip that predates my knowing her -- but I get to enjoy streaming the Celtic Colours festival shows this week!
  13. RobFTC

    New Relationships....Post a Pic

    This happened a little over a month ago - Sept. 2.
  14. RobFTC

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Boy, that article is jaded. I met my fiance online, and met a number of other great women - while also having to stick-handle my way around some not-great women. I don't think I need to dwell on the woman who met me after dinner but showed up hungry, and then redirected a second date to a much more expensive place and made me feel like a meal ticket. Or the one who strung my along with daily convo on the dating site for weeks, said she liked me when we met, and then was unavailable. I can focus on the woman who's prettier on the inside, treats everyone well, and has never failed to be enjoyable to be with. I hope you all find your own unicorn out there. Rob T
  15. RobFTC

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Hi folks! Been awhile since I posted in this thread. Match.com put me in touch with this lady ... and we're engaged now, after an outdoor sunset proposal!

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    Nov. 7, 2010
  • Cause of death
    Ovarian cancer


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